Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
07-08-04, 12:59 PM | #1 | ||||
New to RB
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My Fight...
IP: BE1D 476D
The pain that lies inside, I try~to~hide,
Nobody knows that at night, I lie~and~cry, No one to dry~my~eyes, each day worse~than~the~last, I curse~when~they~ask, if I'm hurt~from~the~past, I release rage on a page, It's like a verse~is~a~mask, My hurt~is~so~vast, I'm fit to burst~as~I~blast, It hurts~when~I~grasp, everyday's going~the~same, My life's like a candle, reality is blowing~the~flame, Stress overflows~in~my~brain, I'm so low~it's~insane, And though~they~complain, there's no way I'm showing~my~pain, I can't explain the strain, but all my skies~are~grey, Would they care if I died~today? I'm already throwing my life~away.. I cry~and prey, but inside I'm breaking~and~dying, Shaking~and~Crying, Aching~and~Trying, To make tomorrow better, to make my mind~right.. Tears well up, taint my vision, blur my eye~sight, As I realise tonight Ima cry as I write... Wishin I would die, coz I can't win My~Fight. |
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07-08-04, 01:01 PM | #2 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 94A6 64F4
To make tomorrow better, to make my mind~right..
Tears well up, taint my vision, blur my eye~sight, As I realise tonight Ima cry as I write... Wishin I would die, coz I can't win My~Fight. ^^^ i really like tha ending part of it... i really felt it cuzz it was nice and was decent... i like tha flow and jam to it... make me feel you and the way ur fightin... goood shit yao... keep it up peace n wun |
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07-08-04, 01:02 PM | #3 | ||||
Dope.
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IP: B271 7A17
ok this wasnot that god to be honest pretty simple..
and wtf dont use all the ~~~~~ they are so annoying.. pz.
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07-08-04, 01:11 PM | #4 | ||||
New to RB
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IP: BE1D 476D
Lol. Uhh thanx pimp... very helpful.
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07-13-04, 11:42 AM | #5 | ||||||
This is my first post!
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IP: BE1D 476D
I like it gurl!!!
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07-13-04, 12:37 PM | #6 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: F0E5 490C
I really liked that. Deep.
The ~s are a bit annoying though. I suggest that you try using Bold or Italicize or you could use color to put emphasis on words instead of the ~s. Stay Up! |
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07-13-04, 06:07 PM | #7 | |||||
The Ups and Downs of Life
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IP: D666 F54C
i feel this cuz I can rhyme with it, but its real honest too-- feelings that get felt and you worded it pretty well... props.... 1
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07-16-04, 03:29 AM | #8 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
nice poem keep up the good job
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07-16-04, 05:01 AM | #9 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
that's hot i like it
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07-17-04, 03:53 AM | #10 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: EC0B 84C7
coo coo it's a good poem i like it alot
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07-17-04, 03:55 AM | #11 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: EC0B 84C7
it was good but the rhyme was off
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