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Old 05-15-07, 01:50 PM   #1
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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Joined: May 2004
From: inside your nightmare's
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Text Record: 20-8
The Uncommon Soul

IP: 36D8 13A6

Written by Valor May 2007:.......



.....another creation of my remains
a sibling of strength
the scorching blood through their veins
sharing personality with thought's
iv came and gone
lived high, but yet to conquer all
the end promises the rebirth
in which ill redirect myself to earth

after life's rotation, my soul
marches on through struggle
death remains my starting point
bleeding tear's, ripped muscle's
never gave up on greed
breathed life's angels with a smirk
the expression sits heavily
upon my lonesome shadow that lurks

tip toe i go, whispering my eulogy
for the breathing, surpassing my
soul, tormented by the devils advocate
fixated with joy, for life's progression
''mourn not now, for i am fond elsewhere
in which the sun is my smile, cherish it
live everyday your own, ignore the demon's
sprint the opposite direction, towards freedom
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Old 05-15-07, 01:53 PM   #2
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
Posts: 2,765
Joined: May 2004
From: inside your nightmare's
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Text Record: 20-8
IP: 36D8 13A6

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Old 05-22-07, 05:18 PM   #3
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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Text Record: 20-8
IP: 36D8 13A6

upping...............
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Old 05-28-07, 08:05 PM   #4
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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Text Record: 20-8
IP: 1047 9D45

wow i need to mod poetic scriptures
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Old 05-30-07, 05:55 PM   #5
Mav.
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haha we need a new mod here even though im new to RV i still can work shit....atleast I think....well whatever.

This poem was a preety weird peice and hard to understand at some points like first off in the begin check this pattern Ill break down the bars

.....another creation of my remains
a sibling of strength
the scorching blood through their veins
"Whos Vens"
sharing personality with thought's
iv came and gone
lived high, but yet to conquer all
"confusing but ok"
the end promises the rebirth
in which ill redirect myself to earth
"Nah didnt like that part and then it ended"

Like that Its hard to conplait it together but it seemed like it could become a very nice peice

good work keep at it though
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Old 06-01-07, 05:02 AM   #6
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
Posts: 2,765
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Text Record: 20-8
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it makes plenty of since dude....i mean this is for a mature audience of poets who understand this level of skill....not to be cocky or try in persuade n shit....but this is good work i feel....

i know plenty writers here who's understand it

but thanks for the feedback anyways bro i appreciate it alot
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Old 07-09-07, 12:00 PM   #7
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
Posts: 2,765
Joined: May 2004
From: inside your nightmare's
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Text Record: 20-8
IP: 2CE2 2783

im a hall of famer....and im only respected with 1 thing of feedback ? wow....
so much for me getting a chance to actually rtf's

lazy newbs
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Old 07-09-07, 09:51 PM   #8
KM
..........
 
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my bad for sleepin on this man just now seeing it lol.....real good though it was complexed and deep....i dont think it was weird i understood it.....but u did jump around from one thing to another a little bit at the beginning....still after the beginning it pretty much stayed on point....keep it up 9/10 ~1~


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Old 07-24-07, 03:43 PM   #9
Grimmy
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This was coo it couldve had sum help on it but over all i likd it!
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Old 07-24-07, 05:52 PM   #10
B.M.
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This was cool! I like wat u did to it and the way the letterin is to!
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Old 08-22-07, 11:52 AM   #11
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
Posts: 2,765
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Text Record: 20-8
IP: 4D5A F17E

feedback these day's is rediculous
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