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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-01-05, 02:11 AM
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#1
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New to RV
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Lucifer Taking Over
IP: 0825 899A
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2410077
Infernos rage across the land, flames consuming everything in sight and Lucifer sits at his new throne on earth, evil glittering in his eyes holding chains attatched to the necks of all of the straining men they carry out all of his orders, while wondering when it will end what happened to the quote believe in christ and you will be saved? but finally evil won the battle, and across the land His diminions rage Faith in Christ first diminished and now it is finally dispursed when soldiers of God did not come down from heaven to end this curse Every one has headaches in their head, like hangovers from hennessy The power of religion has broken when Lucifer destroyed the Trinity Crosses burn in the streets, and churches fall to the ground the body of the pope and other religious figures is nowhere to be found on the streets are the bodies of angels who stood and fought but the demons of hell overpowered them and gods soldiers lost but through all this chaos ramping across the streets i still kneel down and pray, hoping ill live throughout the week im a devoted Baptist, and until i die i always will try to be the devil tries to convert me, i keep standin my ground until they kill me |
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09-01-05, 02:16 AM
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#2
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T&T
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IP: 0717 EA94
Quote:
this is shit....ya hear?..good. |
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09-01-05, 02:19 AM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP: 0825 899A
^^^thank you for the feedback
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09-01-05, 05:42 AM
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#5
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Champion
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IP: 839F 6421
what i suggest is that you work on structure, shorten youre lines, good try and good topic but work on it......
__________________
www.soundclick.com/dollaback
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09-01-05, 11:48 AM
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#6
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Better THAN You!
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IP: 42C3 2EB8
^People above this dude are just negative...
lets break this down... This is Concept is good ...i see what your tryin and it worked...i dont know what their talkin bout no flow, the structure and line length did kind of mess with the flow a bit..but still the flow was there at times...that was til the end..the last 4 lines could have been bangers..if they were worded the right way...but the way you have em the end didnt rhyme that well...the emotion was there.. I dont get why people say it was shit..i mean it was good ..a lil below avg. but still it was pretty good.. Fav: Lines Faith in Christ first diminished and now it is finally dispursed when soldiers of God did not come down from heaven to end this curse Every one has headaches in their head, like hangovers from hennessy The power of religion has broken when Lucifer destroyed the Trinity ^ that was like...damn...thats kind of deep and makes you think...overall rating 5.3/10 |
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