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Old 08-04-04, 07:04 PM   #1
Nyghtmare
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Cool U think u kno?!

IP: F254 4043

Im a black man wit a purpose, not a dream or a goal
u think u kno how 2 raise a troubled 15 yr old

ppl alwayz wonder what i can achieve in life
u think u kno how 2 tell someone wrong from right

raised in tha projects, a young nigga 2 some
u think u kno what itz like 2 be a fatherless son

tryin 2 find a positive road and never look back
u think u kno what is fiction and what is fact

dont get it twisted this life of mine i'll alwayz remember
u think u kno what itz like 2 get no presents on december

I kno what itz like cuz i use 2 live that life
i dont have 2 fight anymore, i kno whatz right
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Last edited by Nyghtmare : 08-04-04 at 07:38 PM.
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Old 08-04-04, 07:09 PM   #2
G_$peed
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yo this was nice and deep but yo this is poems not rap change yo structure
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Old 08-04-04, 07:37 PM   #3
Nyghtmare
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i'll keep that in mind next time. thanx
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Old 08-04-04, 07:45 PM   #4
LyrikalGladiator
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short scheme

simple but it gets a point across

use stronger words for shorter poems with less description like urs is

but other than that thats pretty good...i liked it

by tha way u should go return tha favor and drop somefeedback 4 my tow poems:

"your pain is my pain" and "turn for tha worse"
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