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Old 07-27-04, 02:26 PM   #1
intensify effect
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forgotten flow diss: pt2

IP: 19F7 7629

yo,
I got moves to make, I'm a prove this dude is fake
& how he's a bigger joke, then clowns boxing with heavy weight
its true this kids bound gonna melt down like glass do
cause forgotten a pussy, with thigh, breast & ass too
Fuck battle, watch this door get pushed
Who's this cat? only person that likes War is Bush
Ya shook, I.E a monster you can see I'm harder
I'll have ya fallin from buldings faster then Peter Parker
Your trash that can type, I'm pass what you write
Us on the same page? I'm on the next chapter in my life
slice'in ya wide pipe, us sorda alike?
i'll leave ya with one sneker
so if ya clone us, u'll only be gaining u'r-self a pair of nikes

BANG BANG EARLY..........

TAKE THAT....
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Old 07-27-04, 02:40 PM   #2
Guranteed
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ok,that was good
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Old 07-27-04, 02:52 PM   #3
graceful flow
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its was koo i liked
it nice punches n word
play at da end had a nice
flow was overall good
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Old 07-27-04, 03:38 PM   #4
guji_gangsta
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yea dat was pretty good 7/10
my fav line was : Us on the same page? I'm on the next chapter in my life
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Old 07-27-04, 03:55 PM   #5
D.A.
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Very simple verse no hate juss opinion/
It was nicely structured and ok wordplay/
Good flow could have been better/
But I feel you cause its juss a freestyle/
But you need to use more coplex wordplay to elevate the rhyme/
Also you gotta get them multis down, they will make the flow tight man/
Good piece I give it a 7.5/10, keep elevatin/
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Old 07-27-04, 06:39 PM   #6
OrientalDun
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Man that was dope
the rhymes were cool
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Old 07-27-04, 08:47 PM   #7
intensify effect
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thanks everyone for u'r feed back i love them all....

thanks i will keep trying to elevate more as much as i can....

and i will try multis but to me thats also a tad hard for me but will try captine....
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Old 07-27-04, 09:20 PM   #8
shadow
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comepletely wack.....structure was wack..all around wack....
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Old 07-27-04, 10:04 PM   #9
raw killa
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so far every thread ive seen dis dude smoke lay sum feeedback all he say is whack...lmmao..n e ways good freestyle but uh da rhyme u read from my crew B.A.M.-my life u r retarded if u didnt think my verse was good n e ways nice drop no beef jus opinion cuz im of people on here hatin peace out 1 luv holla back 7-10
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Old 07-27-04, 10:10 PM   #10
For$akeN
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shadow
comepletely wack.....structure was wack..all around wack....


as you can see hes the only sane person in this thread
and don't diss emcees who are better than you.
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Old 07-27-04, 10:10 PM   #11
Tha Unknown (Uk)
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It was cool cuz. Jess Keep doin wah chu do. 7/10

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Double L



http://www.geocities.com/ukthaunkno...adEntertainment
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Old 07-28-04, 05:39 AM   #12
MADDRAPPER
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Rhymes Are My Source Of Force, Come Smooth With Love Quotes Like Dove Soaps, Roll Straight With Scroll Great Fold Hate Like Paper Towels, Vapors Howls Like Coyotes And Roadrunners
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Old 07-28-04, 07:09 AM   #13
atti?
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Wooooooooooooow, My Boy Is Gonna Waste You With Ease...
Have Fun Dumass...
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Old 07-28-04, 08:28 AM   #14
Yung Duke
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ya'll know he fucked up Right. as ya'll know this ya boy Forgotten Flow. I'ma be back wit some shit in amout 30-45 min. Ya career is over. you'd fear my disses when I first came to this site. http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=116379
like Forsaken said dont diss me if you aint better.
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Old 07-28-04, 08:50 AM   #15
Ms. Get Gully
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Not too shabby ..could have been more lines since this was a diss...if u gonna do a short verse just make sure every single line u put out there is hard hitting ..because with a longer verse you could have had the lines u had and then added the harder hitting ones..some of ya lines was funny and some of em just decent...i dont see anything wrong with structure of ya bars this is text write em how ever u want to write the bars just as long as they fit together right.
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