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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
12-07-05, 12:04 PM
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#1
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...Belong...
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Quick "Spit"
IP: 4C10 8D8A
Been Forever Since My Last OM...putting this to a song i'm doin
i get down wit the rhythm... people they think i'm sicker than ya average style of spitter, Coz my hits they never miss ya, Lemme tell you bout a kiddie who had a quickie... ye he's names Jimmy jus turned 16 wit his girl misty, She was sexy could flex in all sorta positions, Get you wooing for them hips and tits they'd get you missin... her if you stayed away for too long...she gets you long, Jus from lookin at that thong... 'tell the story man c'mon', well it startin to get frisky... Jimmy tickle my kitty, he's like yo you got a lump?...she's like that's my clitty... c'mon give it a licky...i know you wanna taste, Aw fuck it how about i sit my arse on ya face, And i can ride you all day...and he's like aight come play, It's his best meal in days so he ain't gonn complain, She returns the favour...and the flavours a moment to savour, Then she heard a "putt putt" aw man this long it takes ya!, 2 pumps and a grunt...and he didn't get in her cunt, What the fuck well this songs a quickie man shut up, This songs got no depth where's the lyrical rage?, RAGE...fuck i'd be pissed if i didn't get to penetrate!,
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^ Amen Brother ^
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R.I.P OMB |
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12-07-05, 12:10 PM
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#2
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...Belong...
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IP: 4C10 8D8A
__________________
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^ Amen Brother ^
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R.I.P OMB |
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12-07-05, 04:07 PM
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#3
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Middle Weight
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IP: C40A 7675
Uk stand up
Ok Wasnt feeling this to be honest felt it could of been done so much nicer he's like yo you got a lump?...she's like that's my clitty... c'mon give it a licky...i know you wanna taste, too cheesy imo Content wise the rest was funny lol about the sit on my face bit was classic felt could of expanded on it, def needed similes incorperated flow was cool respect http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2566854 Return the feed please |
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12-08-05, 06:43 AM
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#5
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...Belong...
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IP: EFD3 1596
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ye thanks for the feed...like i said this is goin into a song so the "text flow" isn't apparant here in this OM coz it's really song lyrics...and the link ain't workin dude
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^ Amen Brother ^
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R.I.P OMB |
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12-08-05, 07:14 AM
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#6
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Middle Weight
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IP: C40A 7675
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=216408
mybad that should work yeah i get u about flow thats why i didnt comment about it too much |
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12-08-05, 02:30 PM
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#7
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 59C1 E212
I Have To Agree With Dizzee....Wasn't Really Feelin This. The Topic Seemed Like A Lame Script From Some Porn Movie. The Rhyming Was Descent And The Structure Was Ok. The Flow On The Other Hand Fell Off In Some Places. Overall It's About Average And I've Seen Better From You....
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12-08-05, 04:21 PM
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#8
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Maggot
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IP: CF74 5D3A
naw homey not much origional and you never should've that big papa line sicker than your average all the rest of the content was suspect after that (sit down and come u[p with your own creation dawg that's the fun about rap and rhyming)
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12-09-05, 04:42 AM
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#9
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...Belong...
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IP: 6491 4BE3
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^ lol @ that coz i said the other day to a mate that this piece looked like some porn ish lol
__________________
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^ Amen Brother ^
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R.I.P OMB |
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12-10-05, 03:28 AM
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#10
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GG Haterz
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IP: 45E5 0C8D
Meh, this was like a recent Eminem piece. Nothing that original, or anything that sticks out. Flow is good though, multis well placed, but I don't think I would listen to this song when I could listen to thousands of others that are better 5/10
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For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me  ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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12-10-05, 05:18 AM
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#11
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...Belong...
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IP: 7FDA 2FDB
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FACK...i think that's why i wrote this...i tried my own version...except i used lyrics not moaning for 3:30 lol...thanks...
__________________
Quote:
^ Amen Brother ^
Quote:
R.I.P OMB |
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