(talkin)remember that shit my nigga those were the days

verse1---
yeah i know we always said a gangsta wouldnt cry//

well that shit was a striaght up lie//

but when you came down we were down to ride//

every time we came togeather we was ready to die//

cause we were true//

now that your gone im missen you//

i know it sounds kinda of gay//

we had love in a brotherly way//

ya'll could never feel the pain i felt that day//

remember that day when we fought rob and keaith//

with out you the hood aint the same//

ill kill a nigga if they disrespect your name//

chourus(x2)
we were always down to ride

what happends when white and black coliped

ill tell you tell got each others side

now that your gone good bye

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JR.delinquents

you needa leave 3 links that you replied to.........or this gets closed........so do so.......

i liked the piece.......it was good.......but dont space your bars.......
good topic.........
good consistancy but make it longer....

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<Center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>.:Corrupted Visions:.</table></Center>

^ and you need to leave feedback

And Yes You Do Need To Leave 3 links or 3 Names Of People You Left Feedback To Or This Will Get Closed, Thanks.

But this was ok....your structure needs work though....dont seperate the lines like that...also try keeping them the same length so it helps the flow out.....try adding some multies to your pieces to make them better as well...the emotion was there but just keep at it.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...535#post1027535

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...562#post1027562

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...586#post1027586

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JR.delinquents

it was pretty good yo. keep droppin

not bad i see a potential the seams exposed in soem and hidden in other lines you got a talent just buff it to be consitant.
other then that this was a pretty good read.

Nice Work, I liked it, really short, and kinda simple, but stil good verse

thank you all this is just the start i got more just need time to think but there will be a pt bout this girl

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JR.delinquents

dis was ok
kinda simple
but nice and short
keep elevatin and u'll get better

7.5/10

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BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga

more thoughts please i wanna know what you all really think be real with this please

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JR.delinquents

yo, honestly wasnt feelin this, good heart in it, but vocab needs some elevatin, fo example, throw rhymes in other places than the end of a line

with out you the hood aint the same//
ill kill a nigga if they disrespect your name//

with out you the hood just aint the same
i'll kill a nigga good fa disrespectin ya name

or something to that effect

...the final blesses state....


1'

iight nigga thanks you kept it real

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JR.delinquents

more votes i wanna know wut u really thin hit this up please

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JR.delinquents

ya it was really touchin ya know
a lil short, i mean ive done sum short
ones but damn, but all else aside dis was hot
keep it comin