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checkity chenk......checkity chank..... tha votes go into my piggy bank......lol g/l homie yo tell me if u dont like the topic so we can change it not really feelin this one so let me kno aight 1

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yea im not liking it either, can we change it?

yea we can change it so pick one of these below got the topics from somewhere else just pick one then aight and ill let DQ kno bout it
The Wounds Of A Thousand Knifes
Revolutionary Pain
Dark Solstice
Spiral Of Hatred
Critical Thinking
Tears Of Acid
The Poverty Of Philosophy
Street War
The Last Breath

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how about street war?

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Wake up each morning in a broken bed and thank the lord
that his highness did not feel the need to pull out my life cord
step up onto my two feet and greet myself
pick up the gat and place it into my belt
take the red bandanna and tightly tie it around my forehead
look around my room, then inside my frig, but i only find bread
peak out the dusty window and see the 06 benz
three people in it, they call themselves my friendz
all dressed in red, from the head to the toe
one of them even has a red comb in his fro
i step outside my "house" and approach the car
i see the proff of gunshots based on the passenger's scar
the driver is speaking hastily, i cant make out what he is saying
in the backseat, a young boy sitting with his hands on his head and praying
together we drive to the hospital and enter the musty room
this guy can't die, in two weeks he is supposed to be a groom
fill out the paperwork while they connect him to a screen
to monitor his heart rate, blood pressure and to give him some special cream
rage fills my heart, i know what needs to be done
the games are over, there is no more room for fun
i take the two guys and we go back to my place
roll up a few blungs, start smoking as i fail to see distortion in my face
once we are high, it is time for the magic to spray
today will end up being a very tragic day
get into the car and drive for a half an hour
there is no time to think, i will not be a coward
we see four guys all dressed in dark blue
their facial expression gives us a solid clue
these are the people that shot my homie
i have to shoot them, i can't feel sorry
we roll down the tinted windows and unload
and the rest of the gruesome story doesn't need to be told
the next day, i got a tattoo of a tear under my eye
to represent the sin of killing the passerby.

Pen 'N Paper- Your vocabulary was on point. The structure was tidy, but that doesn't really matter. I didn't like the small font, but I suppose it was necessary for the three part div align thing. You had imagery, telling a story well but being a bit vague, not coming out all at once. The length was good enough to not make it short or too long to be effective.

MC Iggy- I liked what you did with your ending. You had very basic vocabulary and everything was very straight forward. No mysteries for the reader. I didn't like the simplicity of your ending words, nothing with really anything more then two syllables at the most and that was with the use of the suffix -ing. Passerby was three, though. Basically, the vocab was okay. The whole story was very obvious, exactly what people would think when they first saw the topic.

I'm going to have to give it to Pen 'N Paper.

i think mc iggy been banned for cheating...unless hes changed the user title to that himself...wich i doubt...so i guess pen and paper wins this.

but meh...even if iggy aint been banned my vote goes to pen n paper..was feelin his verse alot more...vocab was on point,some good emotion..keep it up.pz

my vote = pen n paper

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