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11-23-03, 02:47 PM | #1 | ||||||
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"Hall of Illusions" (Poem Version)
IP: 35E1 CF0C
Damn...This is coming off of my head. I just need a way to vent real quick...
I wasted many moons searching... Searching for truth in the land of the oblivious... I walk the road to infinity... Red sky, blood rains down on my wretched flesh... Translucent sand at my feet engulf my ankles in attempts to slow my travels... I find the one called 'God', the one they all worhsip... "Is this really Heaven? Could it be?... I can finally stop fighting? Please say it is so"... These are the questions I ask of this entity... He replies with a nod, and then points down the deserted road... I walk the path this myrtserious man points out to me... At the end is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen with my mortal eyes... I go to touch her, and feel her... She lies just out of arms reach, and no matter how close I move, She moves farther away... This is hell... Its just illusions that rip me to shreds in this hallway/ The worst illusion was “Forever & Always”// *Dedicated to the momory of my ex-girl...maybe she'll feel my pain in time. Look for the song version on my upcoming album... Whether you reply to this or not...I couldn't care less, I just want poeple to know that this pain is to much to hold in. -nothing is permenant- Last edited by The 13th Apostle : 11-23-03 at 03:10 PM. |
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11-23-03, 05:58 PM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 8D84 BDBE
This was a really nice piece here. I really loved how abstract it was -- very emotional. I enjoyed how it did not rhyme I feel it gave it more of a feeling endowed with it. Keep on posting!
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11-23-03, 08:09 PM | #3 | |||
A King Missing a Queen...
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IP: 8D7B 43DF
I respect you hommie, Not very many people would do this to get a ladie back. Mainly cause there pumped up on bullshit. It was nice and deep, just how I like poems. I feel you, ive had a very bad break up befor. I was tired of trying I guess... But now Im happy with a girl, that I know im in love with. Good drop, and good luck with it Hommie.
OUT -High Class a.k.a Confusion
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11-23-03, 08:37 PM | #4 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: F845 C337
Damn pa.. I was feelin this so much yo.. there was a lot of emotion radiating from this.. there was a flow to it, the ideas flowed... you basically stayed on topic. I think if this had rhymed it would have taken away from the piece. Nice ass job.. keep some comin. Much respect.
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11-23-03, 10:35 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 90BF D436
Thanks for the replie sy'all...i appreciate the love for real.
i didn't thnik this was gonna get much respect, but i guess rough drafts can be good. thanks -being alone is best, but being lonely sucks- |
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11-24-03, 12:03 AM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: 66EA C61F
This was absolutely profounding..it was hot.. and the same time very spiritual and deep rooted.. stay up pa
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11-24-03, 12:49 PM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: F718 7AAD
Wow, great piece. All of the emotion was felt, and believe me, I can relate. You left me speachless. Everything was great on it in my opinion. No complaints. Great job. Much respect.
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11-24-03, 01:57 PM | #8 | |||||||
Retired.
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IP: 9FD6 DFF7
Very good piece...
Nice emotion brought through... I cant get technical on things since I dont understand poetry... But nice piece... it connected with me well |
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11-27-03, 05:53 PM | #9 | ||||||
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IP: 0C6F DA8F
Thanks y'all...
to the honeys, i need sexual healing, anyone down? lol, nah...i appreciate the supportthoguh and the love.. holla back P.e.a.c.e |
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11-27-03, 07:29 PM | #10 | |||||||
..Soft Focus..
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IP: 1B3B C284
tight piece, very well created and mad vocab...great read...peep my shit thats in my sig if ye got time...thanks pz
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12-01-03, 11:00 PM | #11 | ||||||
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IP: 981B 6837
Thanks, i will tomorrow, i dont have time right now, i got some shit to take car eof...good lookin out...
P.e.a.c.e. |
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12-03-03, 01:50 PM | #12 | |||||||
..terror walks again..
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IP: CEF5 716F
i hadd to check this out, just cause ya title almost appears as mine. this was a deep drop. kinda sad when ya think about it. in beginin ya emotions aren't straight and when God hollars at cha straighten stuff out. only foe God just toy wit ya showin the illusions of ya ex. kinda figures. this was madd heartfelt though, stay up wit this. also when ya see a peice of mine post ya peice of mind, it be appreciatted.
peAce
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12-17-03, 12:55 PM | #13 | ||||||
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IP: 7AFC 236C
tight as fuck
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12-17-03, 03:46 PM | #14 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: F354 9C29
I felt this seriously.. Pretty much like everyone said, the emotion you brought in this piece was amazing.. I liked this very much and i'd recomend anyone else to read this..
btw.. sumone please ban this HotRod guy he replies with 1 word replies, i'm sure he doesn't even read the pieces. . . Good shit though man..
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12-17-03, 09:59 PM | #15 | |||||||
Str8 From CopKilla Queens
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IP: 4577 CD9A
lol umm its kinda embarrassing how many times i have sed this recently but i think this is officially the best poem i've seen here in a while lol. Fa real this piece was pleasently deep and refreshingly complex, instant respect, 1luv.
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