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Old 12-31-04, 02:35 AM   #1
TeamOne
FuxJustAWord
 
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Brick Wall Ft. Kilo704

IP: 3240 794D

Brick Wall

.
.
Me
.
.
we used to kick it wen we were young, i thought i knew
who u were, but i was wrong, u werent holdin true
u were holdin back, and retreatin back home alone
locked the door on ur soul, and they key was gone
and now im starin at a brick wall that ur buildin up
every brick represents the trust... that uve given up
its cemented with the lies u believe from other people
but i can see through- all that shit that i could breathe through
all that shit, and see you, a cryin lil girl, in ur tiny lil world
and everytime uve been lied to, its grown and unfurled
another wall goes up, until ur surrounded by all four
no windows now no door, no more to explore
no more of those nights, u wont even let in the light
of hope, with no cope of the world, this- is not life
u hide from the hugs, u tried to hide from the love
built a roof from the heavens, so u can hide from above
............................u WERE-- a diamond in the rough........
.
.
.
Go Kilo
.
.
.
damn gurl.......so much anger built up n it filled ya wit rage/
u enclosed within ya soul seemingly trapped in a cage/
if only it was somebody 2 help u ease dat stress u retain/
and find a way 2 solve all tha problems dats rackin ya brain/
it seems ya life is drownin in tha quicksand of hardships/
lost ya moms last year ya pops beat u n fill ya head wit shit/
he says nobody gives a damn but dont let him get ya down/
wheneva, whereva, 4 eva, i'll always hold ya down n b around/
hold ya head up high n neva let tha evil people c ya sweat/
u goin thru some hard times but God aint done wit u yet/
dis goes out 2 anybody goin thru problems wetha big or small/
hold ya head up n get ya ass out from behind da brick wall/
.
.
.
Back To Me For The Faster Flow
.
.
.
And now you gotta whole home, no 'fones', no 'tone', for ur protection???
u wanna teach a lesson, no 'strings attached', no 'cords', no 'connection'
we were the 'same', thought perfection, but now we sit in different sections
tore down all ur 'mirrors', too afraid to look, and see that i'm your 'reflection'
its my recollection that you sed we'd be together 'till death be mentioned
i know i showed signs of reprehension, but you're mine till the endin
....................Girl.......................... .......its time, for ur resurrection
Cause I've been checkin mics, for too long, you needa check your self
help me help your self, So we can find that key on the vacant shelf
but you keep persistin, i thought we were in love, but, youu wont listen
your love im missin, we went from hugs and kissin, to shrugs and dissin
this is my final position, u say im the one, and one chance is wat i was given
i blew it, i knew its hard livin, but knock down the door and have me forgiven
u cant even be seen from above, our love cant be like the fall of a dove
cuz we go together, a hand and a glove, through a push and a shove
............................Ur the lonely wall, and im the wreckin ball fulla love
.
.
.


Wat u think??? especially my last verse.... kinda keystyled right now (keep, leave out??)

u have 24 hours to drop a link with proper feed back if u dont understand plez read the link on top of the page.........
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=170871
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Last edited by intensify effect : 01-07-05 at 02:21 PM.
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Old 12-31-04, 11:44 AM   #2
Kilo704
tha tightest thang in RV since Hang-man's rope*cough pussy hole*
 
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uppin...............................
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Old 12-31-04, 03:01 PM   #3
TeamOne
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uppin for some feedback
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Old 12-31-04, 06:13 PM   #4
B. Magik
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Damn yall!!!! Shit was off the meters...Crazy hot...Feeling all the emotion and the topic is definetely one that I can relate to, which makes it all the more better...Good flow and verses from both of yall...Nothing short of what I expected...Yall gave me more...Uppin this for my fam...1
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Old 12-31-04, 10:46 PM   #5
Kilo704
tha tightest thang in RV since Hang-man's rope*cough pussy hole*
 
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Old 01-01-05, 12:55 AM   #6
Kilo704
tha tightest thang in RV since Hang-man's rope*cough pussy hole*
 
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uppin............................................. ...................
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Old 01-01-05, 08:09 PM   #7
TeamOne
FuxJustAWord
 
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god damn, slept on as hell

bump, bump
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Old 01-01-05, 11:17 PM   #8
TeamOne
FuxJustAWord
 
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God damnit..... can i get more than ONE Feedback
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Old 01-02-05, 01:13 AM   #9
Whys That?
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flow!!!!!

the whole thing has a perfect flow. no fall's. This has a good topical substance to it. Good heart felt peice. good rhyme's from both a you. I like the way you swtched style's and came with a faster flow in your second verse fjaw.
8/10
good drop

Last edited by @. : 01-02-05 at 04:21 AM.
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Old 01-02-05, 01:25 AM   #10
SikezstWun
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Shit was hot. Nothing I can see wrong with this... I can relate and I know you put some thought into this.

I'd give it a 9/0 .. because I don't give 10's, lol
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Old 01-02-05, 01:35 AM   #11
50hater_killer
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I like its strucutre it has meaning it is a killer flow, I liked it and I do not care if anyone else did! But I loved it but hey keep workin offf of that and the closure could use a lil touch up and keep elevating on that but over all hell of a rhyme game
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Old 01-02-05, 02:10 PM   #12
TeamOne
FuxJustAWord
 
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uppin .
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Old 01-02-05, 02:20 PM   #13
Explizit*
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That shit is ill. You gotta get the audio of that. I wanna listen so if u make 1 give it to me.
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Old 01-02-05, 03:01 PM   #14
Insight.
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Nice drop, I was feeling Kilo's verse most. Get rid of the last verse, to me it throws off the mood and tempo. I can hear that on a cd, but you need to touch it up, the flow is perfect, you need a better 3rd verse. Put in a refrain and you've got a track for a cd.. px
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Old 01-03-05, 02:01 AM   #15
TeamOne
FuxJustAWord
 
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uppin!! money for feed damnit
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