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11-20-04, 10:17 AM | #1 | ||||||
New to RB
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Feedback Required Quick!!!!!!!!!
IP: E24B A139
Dream
Snow falls when I’m asleep, but when I wake its set ablaze Not intoxicated in dreams, but when I wake up I need to blaze My baby’s smiling at me but when I wake I see his pain Sun is glowing while I pass out, in conscious I witness rain Stuck in this deserted land, uncontrollable, I’m flown away It’s here I’m most powerful and find a brighter day Captivated, smoke steaming, strong willed, fears hidden I’m invincible in my visions, don’t wake me it’s forbidden Passed out in dreamland, I’m no longer that “lost little girl” Ballerina dresses perched upon a throne, smiling followed by a twirl Floating of ground, candyfloss, fluffy, wispy clouds that promise not to pour I’m the puppeteer, untouchable, I’ll take you there, open up my door No one stop me, painted smile, paper flowers, it’s all imaginary in my dreams Beep…Beep, purple sky fading, ocean giving way, I’ll realise nothings what it seems Tears will be forced away as I creep back into curse reality Unprepared, faded memories, brushing my fears aside, gnawing at what’s left of my sanity I’ll lock my dream land up, closing shutters, promising to return Take my first step out, sacrificing imagination, letting hatred burn Confuse, frustrated, not daring to move in fear of self expression First foot laid, mask forced on, compressed with blankets of depression |
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11-20-04, 10:18 AM | #2 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: E24B A139
Please Yall Leave Feedback
Anytyme Now ........ ...... ...... ............. ............... |
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11-20-04, 11:32 AM | #3 | ||||
FuCk YoU I RhYme BeTtEr
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IP: 999E 328C
yo man...i was feelin that str8 up...good drop mayn...has structure, a good topic, vocab was there...good job..9/10...yo man hit my open mic up...link in the bottom...thanks...~1~
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"I didnt choose this life, this life chose me" EveryDay Its the same old song, and the feeling is always gone
.:THE JURY:. HONOR and RESPECT |
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