I got this topic in SS, lets see what i can make of it.
Replies
BMack
Kastaway
Boi*C

The mind is my character resulting to certian actions or phrases
A blinde man who dreams of breaking lose of the worlds cages
I'm lost in these memories mazes of how it reasembles my art
Keeping close my literature putting down me to balance my heart
The past wont part...it hits me like a lost path of a dart..it kills..
Life is one chance there is no refills...so I glance at the picture still
The power between the frame leaves no bliss to unknown name
Prosicuting my game putting a suspention on my talents range
Who's to blame? But myself the cards i delt and moments disolved
Were as beautiful as a lonely flower..problems still left unresolved
Ocward the path that you shose to garunte you hopes an dreams
A rhyme scheme if you fall off it destroys all..you no what i mean
Loss being the only memory holding on to my lifes propaganda
Stages of greatness I could write in one short stanza
I sit back with the thoughts with a tombstone overlaping the grief
Reminicing when everything was okie an I could actually breath
Now I stutter slur words cause of lack of energy all disapointment
I failed my test had one chance for my future blew my apointment
Medals and jerseys all across my wall from seven years of work
The unstopable is now stopable the man met the dirt..for worse
A future now unknown so I sit in my old throne on the feild..
Take a trip down memory lane and try to feel what i use to feel..


Quick key,....tell me wutcha like...and dont like pz

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

i quite liked this piece.....good flow.....with some nice lines...the concept ive seen before,,,but thought you did a good job on it......imagery came thru a bit....yeah nice drop...pZ

Yeah i agree this was a pretty good piece here.....i enjoyed the read....the flow in this was pretty good through out it, it stayed on point through the whole thing....you had some nice structure in this....vocab was good i thought....but overall this was a good piece...keep at it.

i agree wit both o yall this was a nice dope piece.......good vocab,structure,rhyme,wordplay....evrything was strait up fire...keep doin ur thing son

__________________

THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK...UPPEN

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

..I agree with the others..this piece was very well written..you didn't loose me not once during your flow..which I find very diffcult to do..plus your vocab and structure was also on point..Very nice..

thanks uppen

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

It was good. It was a little simple though. Try to jazz up the complexity a little bit. Good job.

okie uppen

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

Nice piece..

My Fav Line..."I'm lost in these memories mazes of how it reasembles my art
Keeping close my literature putting down me to balance my heart"

Reminds me of myself....

Overall nice piece...good flow...and the best thing about your piece was that I understood your expressions...

Stay Up...

Laters...

Good flow. You stayed on topic well. I've seen this topic before but I thought you wrote on it well. Overall this was just a great read. Keep it up.

__________________
Respect is all I'm after.
Prime effort is all you can expect.
Perfection will be promised in time.

The Creation

shit was hot u took it back 2 dat Nas joint

thanks uppen for some more replies

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

YO RULE. THIS WAS A GOOD PIECE. I LIKED THE CONCEPT.
YOUR VOCAB, MULTIS, AN FLOW WERE ALL GOOD IN THIS MY NIGGA.
I LIKED THE ENDING BEST. A 8.9/10.

YO RETURN THE FAVOR AND HIT UP THIS LINK AN DROP SOME FEEDBACK ON THE PIECE.
THX, PZ.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=100692

__________________
NUCLEAR CONCEPTS- DA ILLEST CREW

Niggas we dont work with tecks, we work with BOMB threats/
So fuck with us and i'll have WORD aim FAT BOY 2 at you and your whole set/- S.S.