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12-28-03, 06:23 AM | #1 | ||||||
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A day at McDonalds....[Keystyle]
IP: B20F 67F7
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=101137
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=101444 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=101290 LoL, was bored so I just started typing up a basic keystyle about a very special day for me working at McDonalds lmao...not entirely true...but the basic idea is. Something people should be able to relate to lol. was workin Mickey Dees...Takin orders from the line When I see dis fly lookin gee...really caught my eye So I checked my watch...It was my break in a while So then I hit her the slogan..."we Love 2 see u smile" Excitement hit my body...As I gazed at her curves.... I asked "Welcome to Mcdonalds...How can u b served?" she blushed n giggled...so she asked me for my name My heart tickled as I told her..."friends call me PaYce" my heart raced as she opened her lips, exposed her hips And softly asked..."What tyme is your next break Shift??" She was a true freak...things in my pants started to rise Felt more heat...than them French Fries...Bein deep fried looked in a mirror...saw the rear...and baby had back! tons of fun...Gigantic buns...like ones...on a big mac! The clock struck 8 o'clock...n my watch started to beep excitement arose in my cock...as it prepared for defeat Took her to my back up spot...outside was too cold in fall and What better place to rock...than in a bathroom stall! Checked the tyme...8:02...so in 13 my break was over she went "tyme is against u" so i told her...bend over! Checked again...8:10...had to be bak...couldn't pass... So I gave her a thurst...n asked if she wanted fries wit dat Now I really had to go...I asked her wat she thought of it She went...Ill be back tomorrow since...Im truly Luvin it! LoL, i thought it was pretty funny, and added some slogans and stuff here. Dun care wat anybody says lol, dats creative!!! Im talkin bout gettin laid at McDonalds whiel on duty for heavens sake lol. Anyways, drop sum feedback. Last edited by PaYce : 12-28-03 at 06:26 AM. |
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12-28-03, 06:50 AM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 74A1 A15A
lmfao.....
dat was some funny shit... u have a similar style 2 me thus provin that u dont need a huge vocab 2 come off raw... theres really not a lot of bad things that i can say bout dis piece... it was funny, stuck 2 da point, and your rhyme structure was easy 2 follow... overall 8.5/10 nice drop -1- |
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12-28-03, 08:39 AM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: 7A38 2D7B
what can i say, funny shit...sept if the Macdonalds people over here asked me out...i'd grab my MacChicken Premiere and run!
roflmmfao...oh well, i'm probably banned there anyways..yeah, i liked this..funny drop...you worked it! |
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12-28-03, 10:25 AM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: B20F 67F7
Thanks for the positive feedback guys...really appreciate it lol. Just tried to make this verse funny, sumthin if I did an audio to...You'd just sit bak n laugh ur head off.
Uppin dis lol |
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12-28-03, 05:47 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 9588 E886
come on guys, dont sleep on dis, drop me sum feedback.
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12-28-03, 06:24 PM | #6 | |||
A.K.A Mischief Since '00.
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IP: 2FA3 1696
Yo thats some funny as shit......
But i wonder how many young kids on here jacking off to this porn? Please next time censor it..lol i liked the story concept and the vocab was aight... overall: 7/10 for creativity
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12-28-03, 06:36 PM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: 202C A952
RORLMMFAO
.... THIS WAS FUNNY AS HELL!.... LMFAO NICE CONCEPT... AND THE SLOGANS... OH WOW,,,, GOOD ISH DUNNY 9/10 CAESAR - ON3 |
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12-28-03, 07:11 PM | #8 | |||||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: 7A5E D5B8
Good clean storyline..
Some funny concepts.. A little vocabulairy.. Decent key drop.. Made me giggle a few times.. |
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12-28-03, 07:17 PM | #9 | ||||||
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IP: 4577 CD9A
Lol, that reminded me of the time I was chillin' wit my boy Vasco de Gama. He used too work at McD's, and he was always sticking things in the milkshake machine. One day while he was smoking weed during break he busted dis out:
I drove up to the house about 7 or 8 Said to the Cabbie, yo homes smell ya' later That's how I came to be the Fresh Prince of McD's Damn, he was getting high all the time! |
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12-28-03, 07:21 PM | #10 | |||||||
.:Smoke Herbs:.
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IP: 0F50 E856
this sum funny shit.....props to ya
i saw tha title and thought..."dopeness"......dno why, jus did.... the way you used the companys slogans in ya rhymes was dope and it made me laff...... favourite bar... Checked the tyme...8:02...so in 13 my break was over she went "tyme is against u" so i told her...bend over roflmmfao shit was funny as hell........... luvvin da topic and everythin..... i think that if you used a better vocab then it wouldn't have had the same effect on the laughter...... this a funny piece........... stay up......................................peace |
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12-28-03, 08:47 PM | #11 | ||||||
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IP: 7733 7AF9
yo straight piece........had everything down and shit. just had me laughing alot man. thats some fukin funny shit. lol.
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12-28-03, 08:56 PM | #12 | ||||||
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IP: 4577 CD9A
Funny and creative. Structure and flow was good. Nice drop.
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12-28-03, 09:04 PM | #13 | ||||||
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IP: 4CFB 9C60
AHhahahahahsahhahahah SHit man You GOt tha Funniest Style in a good way........this excellent Structure And ya FLow Was ALso Nicely Done man i enjoyed it........when and if ya get 200 or if C.V. Get our own Crew Forum I would Recomend You....buts its really up to Masta C...SO ya Vocab was Good and ya wordplay was also good so keep it dropin.....PeacE.....
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12-30-03, 02:25 AM | #14 | ||||||
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IP: B20F 67F7
uppin for more feedback
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12-30-03, 02:30 AM | #15 | ||||||
Banned
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IP: C455 7D83
ITS FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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