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12-31-03, 01:41 AM | #1 | |||
Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
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[WK9] 21 Kost (0-0) 22 Relik (0-0)
IP: 6CDC 921F
Topic: Surreal
Verses Due: Jan 9 Voting Ends: Jan 12 |
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01-01-04, 09:56 PM | #2 | ||||
Over Weight
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IP: C1DA C961
im checking on in for the win
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Soft Focus Suicide Inc. RhymeVantage Def.Ill Ghost-Writers Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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01-03-04, 07:36 PM | #3 | ||||
Over Weight
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IP: 4577 CD9A
In order to understand the meaning of his thoughts,
You'd have to understand the feelings he has caught, These perplexed visions, reoccuring every day to day, A land where he doesn't feel as an oddball, not astray, So it'd be inevitable that more would come every time, Lay to the pillow, more wrongful thoughts come to mind, Sicker and sicker,whats wrong would be standard to ask, But he starts to act them out, his old visions of the past, The sexual ramparts of which none would want to know, He knows ramifications,though he acts his thoughts alone, As the lost thoughts would worsen, so would the moans, Of the female body, chained to the basement of his home, Play the games on her, that he'd played in his surreal dreams, Angered though, that, now she screams, his anger beams, Why is she acting different than she had before, is it cause, She's chained to the floor? bodies remain, near the "whore", These thoughts, these dreams, this distorted life he can't get, He only has his one accolade and they're leaving, he frets, Without it, what is he, how could he ever mend the seams, He's not getting off on her now, he's lost his surreal dreams... |
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01-09-04, 02:42 PM | #5 | |||
Fern Gully
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IP: 91C2 8530
I be that rolling stone – I roll and stay stoned Surreal thoughts – hallucinations bringing me home My dome’s in other places – flashback – her face is Draped in hate – dates and kisses get wasted with hatred Tr-Tr-Tr-Trippin wit’ no patience – shrooms broken up in rations A white boy flippin – in a ject’s full of hatians There’s no discrimination – the blunt gets passed From West Coast to East Coast – yo we all get trashed And that’s the thing – cuz the drugs bring us together If Bush dropped Acid with me – I gaurentee the world be better And that’s unfortunate - cuz that shit will never happen So I voice my opinions through trippin sack and rappin It’s Surreal – Makes you think you do when you really don’t It’s Surreal – Makes you think you will when you really wont The worlds fuck up – so what the fuck you gonna do Get just as fucked up – relax and stay true I walk down my flight of stairs – the walls give me stairs I’m fallin – despair – bawlin and crawlin all up in my chair Life’s unfair – flashback – Impos-- – flashforward – im trippin sack Ma’s in the kitchen lookin like oprah on crack So I step back – relax – reality’s just around the block Life in the fastlane – and I decide to take the walk Thirteen years old – received a joint – told me to hit it And since lifes been Surreal so im really glad I did it
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Knum-Sayins??? Keepin It Real Dumb
The Creation
We Dont Need A Fuckin Crew Forum! Kost
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01-10-04, 01:35 PM | #6 | ||||
Banned: Permanent
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IP: C7DE B209
ehh.. decent battle here
Sarcasm got out his message, yet lacked the creativity not a real 'on point' flow to it.. could have been handled better. Kost was on the iffy side. like sometimes i'd be like "yeah that shits nice" n' on the other lines i'd be like "ehh, could have been worded better".. your flow was deffinitly catchy n' kept me readin. creativity was in there.. but still things lacked v/ Kost |
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01-10-04, 03:50 PM | #7 | |||||||
Presently Light...Waits
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IP: 2C61 5AB3
ok battle..........good creativity, sarcasm could have came harder......its not that close, breakdown:
Sarcasm: rhyme scheme: 6.5, flow: 6.5, story: 7.5, total= 20.5 Kost: rhyme scheme: 7.5, flow: 7, story: 7.5, total= 22 vote Kost, no hard feelins.............tha idea and flow won it for Kost, you might have taken this Sarcasm if you would have gone more in depth with your story....kinda confusin, peace, 1 p.s. Vote on my championship battle vs. Aus
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<center> Soft Focus</center> "I'm stuck with...what i'm Stuck Wit, cause i don't Suck Dick" - Jadakiss |
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01-11-04, 02:22 AM | #8 | |||
Eye Designs
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IP: B473 28B1
Dope .........
Storyline-Kost Imagery-Kost Creativity-Kost Structure-Tie Flow-Tie Wordplay-Tie Originality-Sarcasm Vote-Kost Kost did dope as fuck in this shit Dope shit homie... keep it up Very enjoyable battle But kost got this hands down
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01-12-04, 11:16 AM | #9 | |||||||
Veteran
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IP: FF89 3C60
Nice little battle here...
I feel Sarcasm had the better imagery... But alot of lines left me like, huh? The format, rhyme scheme at times, I don't know... Something was off. Maybe emotion. Cuz I didn't feel anything reading this... I couldn't even feel sorry for the tortured girl, you made her so plastic, an object. Maybe that's how the rhyme was suppossed to work, to show his thoughts and shit in his surreal mindset... I got that, but as a reader, I need to see the whole picture from all sides. Or at least be able to distinguish reality from his point of view. This just left me blank. Kost went a totally different route. He had a song type beat to his, real good flow on this one. And the humor, imagery, with big time emotion were on point. I could see where he was coming from right away and it's flow helped vibe this right along. Not too big on vocab and complexity, but it's the emotion and message that wins it for this one. Kost
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Merkings will occur Monday thru Friday, 8 am thru 5 pm, C.S.T. For my convenience, not yours! |
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01-12-04, 05:33 PM | #10 | ||||
Over Weight
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IP: C1DA C961
Well. BTK got it on point..
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Soft Focus Suicide Inc. RhymeVantage Def.Ill Ghost-Writers Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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01-12-04, 06:48 PM | #11 | |||
...
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IP: A9A7 727D
Kost wins.
[closed]
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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