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Old 01-05-04, 01:58 PM   #1
FanTa ZeE
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Emotional Turmoil

IP: 7A38 2D7B

Katz, Enrage, Blazing MC - All Replied To

Our brains reject the pains we faced in long past times/
A hidden world of the subconcious, appears only in our rhymes/
To reflect causes turmoil at the epicentre of tainted minds/
To resurface blind, twisted in hatred, longing only to unwind/
Leave the bad behind, bleeding, spat on in the dirt/
The pain entwined in our systems still shows evidence of hurt/
But our eyes and ears stay alert, for it takes seconds to revert/
Emotional trauma takes us back to the lies we tried to convert/
More tears, multiplied and farmed in the depression/
Those in fear turn to suicide predict deaths intervention/
Burning obsession, those once forgotton left an impression/
Imprint in our mind that causes question or confession/
A fear so deep that rives beneath the surface of the skin/
Like a virus, stinging nerves and muscles, tearing to get in/
To take over and do its phisical best/
To bring the mind of the griever, to its final place of rest/


Message - Emotional Turmoil
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Old 01-05-04, 04:32 PM   #2
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decent read... got the message across nicely...the scheme was decent... few lil internals..the flow stayed mainly....think ya improving with every drop...pZ
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Old 01-05-04, 04:43 PM   #3
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Yeah i agree this was alright here....your structure in this was pretty good through out it i thought.....you had good flow in this, it stayed on through out the piece, it kinda fell at some points but it was good overall....Like Deva said you got your message across good....overall this was alright, good read....keep at it.
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Old 01-05-04, 05:50 PM   #4
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Liba Dee whoa that was nicely done.....ya had good Structure adn Nice Flow that was pretty consistant.....ya had decent Vocab which Im Impressed with that and i think ya had pretty nice imagery.....so all and all Good Shit I liked the read....PeacE....
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Old 01-07-04, 12:35 PM   #5
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thats y'all....!
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