Everyday This World Seems Sour
Minute By Minute, Hour By Hour
Look At Pete Rose For Fuck Sake
In Another He's Acting All Fake
The Do It Cold Hearted Without Remorse
Their Actions Seemingly Not Forced
They Don't Act Like A True Great Man
Turn To The Dark Smokin' Grams
Authority Has No Control
Society's Lost Soul
Crimes With Passion Motivation Of Hate
There Choices Are Solid Deciding Their Fate
Arresting Will Not Solve Problems
Clean Cell Now Upon Them
Now The Have A Purpose
We Think We Served Justice
Can You Live With The Fact
Their Now Living Under Our Act
Jail Is The Place For Them To Be
Why Is It So Hard For Us To See
It Advances At Alarming Rates
It's A Continual Debate
Settin' Records In One Life
Bettin' On Games, Unique Strife
Done Often Without Thinking
They Act Vicious Without An Inkling
They Don't Fulfill Childhood Dreams
Faced Fucked, Dirtier Feelings
They Act With Due Recklessness
Wouldn't Effect Them To Calmingly Confess
Wishing We Could Do Something
Rehabilitaion Will Do Nothing
Now Taken Care By Government
There Life's Saved From Further Dents
No Aimless Wandering In Days To Come
But What Have We Really Done
That We Take Criminals Under Our Wing
We're Constantly Preaching And Singing
There Salvation Is No Steeple
We Support These Crooked People

thougth this was ok, flow fell in places and some of the rhyming was slightly off... but the scheme was ok...not bad complexity... quite good for a key.....pZ
dont need to leave links no more..

..decent...

not bad man, flow was choppy in a couple places, but decent, ok structure, just try using some multi's, and some decent wordplay and youll be on your way to illness
peace

Yea, Basically What Deva N Souldja Said, Flow Was Choppy N Off, Had To Pick It Up. Structure Wasn't Terrible, Like Souldja Said, Throw Some Multi's In There. Wordplay Was Straight, Jus Up Some Shit Aiight. . Pz.

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uppin.

i didnt like it much. basic rhyming and content, flow was off for me as i read it. a lot of one syllable rhymes and a simple pattern, nothing really stand out. needs a lot of work as far as writers voice and transition are concerned.

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