rate this if ya want.... im bored so im just gon try sumet.

Inspired by the way jab got totally caned in his member picture post.

Started of swiftly/
Rap Battles.com/
Now the horizon looks misty/
Wot we dun rong?/

Check it... Jab posted up his picture/
Abuse reigned supreme/
A wigga, a fake thug?/
U surely dont smoke up tha trees/
A whiteboy rapper/
No hope in tha world/
Well il tell u ur wrong/
Yeh fuck... i sed it u heard/
We shout out Rev Unit, but we dont ride wit thugz/
Its like u fink rappin... is all about gunz/
Now we hated already/
More beef than a butchers/
Mucho mess brewed up/
But still yall cant touch us/
Flows not even complete yet/
Learning curve just half way/
But we comin round like ferrari/
Move outta tha way/
I aint gona shout bout it/
infact thers no doubt/
we runnin up fast while u stumble wit gout/
dont pout for us bitches/
Trout lips get u know where/
All yall wit top flows,...... one day we gon be ther/
So this an open diss to anyone who dun take it/
No we aint gangstas and we aint tryina fake it/
Wiggas u claimin? We rakin the cash/
Im dun wit u bitches throw u out wit tha trash/

k wrote that in like 4 mins off top of head. wot yall fink... like i sed looking for help on improvements n shit. coz i wants to improve.

Peace

this wasnt a very good drop, you need to pick a good topic first of all, and scheme is just all wacked out. rap about something dissin is for front lines. a couple of lines were ok though,
Wiggas u claimin? We rakin the cash/
Im dun wit u bitches throw u out wit tha trash/

But you need to elevate so keep droppin.
Pz.

Well....this was ok......your structure could use some work though, try making the shorter lines longer and keep the lines around the same length though so its structured good and so it helps the flow out....flow in this was ok, could have been better....add multies to your pieces to make them better....but keep at it.

aight fellas fanks 4 the advice

peace

---------------------------------
gon work at it

yo dogg i would give this a 4 outta ten yo flow wasn't that good!
this is how you spit yo skit:


this is how i would spit it and rhyme it:

dis iz an open diss-so any motha fucka can take it/
i aint no gangster, and naah i dont beg it/
u claiming ima wigger-just coz ima holding mo doe/
fuck you bitches-come against me u get blowed/
------------------------

anyways thats my style, but dogg just keep at it an you'll be better, the best way to elevate, is to take all the feedback u get-even tha negative and boost yourself! piece!

i didnt really think much of this the flow wasnt very smoothe... and the content was weak.... think of better topics to write about.....pZ

this was wack..just like you!

Fuck You

Dont see why there are so many haters around here.

Fanks to the others for the advice.... i dont care if u say its shit, fuck it i dont even care if u say im wack..... but at least say wot bits/leave feedback etc.

This was actually pretty basic, rhyming was all one yllable, flow was off, it seemed a Really primative piece .. not really a lot to comment on.



What's with all the stupid ebonics? Dis, Iz, Naah, Mo, Doe <-- that shit is gay as fuck. Write how you want it to be read, dont include any of that gay bullshit. Ignore the moron who offered that advice.

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W o r d P e r f e c t

yeah this sucked. you and G-unit should come together and name yourself Revvvvvvvved up G-Unit yeah that'll be great