http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104767
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104430
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...986#post1062986

Puff Puff give bro this be some heavy shit,
My mouth is dry, this weed wont even let me spit,
But its no matter, we proceed wit happy laughter,
Watch me swallow these zooms then slap me after,
Happyness my thought as my brain diminishes,
I'll be happy again win the pain finishes,
Is anybody there? Im stranglin on my thoughts,
Shits worse then bugs danglin on my crops,
My visions blurry, Ill give up n let the prisons worry,
My heads scrambled I cant make the decisions hurry,
How can it be bad when it makes me feel this great,
I be thinkin twice when this be like the realest hate,
Cant keep control my soul is trippin 'out',
No longer 'in me' I start to lip and shout,
This isnt normal, like some sort of attack,
Now I feel like dyin while snortin my crack,
At first I'm happy then my lifes over,
Only time to get layed is when my wifes sober,
Thats why we homies like me still be a virgin,
It isnt cureable so I kill me a surgeon,
Its what I'm urgin as my body lies,
Now that I'm dead the mufuckin party dies,
What I think now, it was hardly wise,
My happy endin would be a very large surprise,

another quick drop, let me know what ya think.

and If you could vote on my slept on battle thatd be really appreciated. Pz.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104597

hmmm..this was amazingly..mediocre..nothing spectacular..umm..I think I can tell what you're talking when you say the devil's existance...ehh..I give this a 6/10..vocab is that great..nothin really great..peace..

__________________
R.I.P. Bodie

thanks for telling me whats wrong wit it or what I can improve on... asshole.

I did tell you..I was trying to be nice..cause this shit sucked ass..I say you print tyhis up on paper..then ball it up..set it on fire then throw the ashes off a cliff..then jump down off the cliff and try to catch the ashes..you wack peice of shit..then what you can do is..insert a fucking bomb in your harddrive and wait 3 seconds before it's explode..thats when you jump on top of your modem like you jump on the dickriders on this site..you fucking fag


there you go..you wamnted to know what to do..those are the instructions...



btw the way..kick yo moms in the stomach for birthing your fag ass!!

__________________
R.I.P. Bodie

hmmm..this was amazingly..mediocre..nothing spectacular..umm..I think I can tell what you're talking when you say the devil's existance...ehh..I give this a 6/10..vocab is that great..nothin really great..peace..

that aint tellin me what i should improve on u fuckin bitch. If u think u did then u obviously an idiot. and if u wanted too call me a wack kid why dint u just say it off the bat you fucking piece a shit. I read your piece fagget... and u in no position too be calling me wack, so shut your fucking mouth and keep to yaself, you'll find u make more friends. and that mother shit, thats just somethin a gay cheap fucker would say, so go continue making ya pocket change suckin dick for bums you little cocksucker.

Ok listen...

You have potential which I see because of your flow scheme..
However you must use some vocab...to express yourself more..
and try picking a different unique topic....something very unique...

People hate reading the same concepts...

There were some lines that caugh my eyes a little

"My visions blurry, Ill give up n let the prisons worry,
My heads scrambled I cant make the decisions hurry,"

In away it had a little depth...there were some other lines as well...Just increase your vocab...you will get better practice makes perfect...stay elevating laters...