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Old 01-08-04, 04:20 PM   #1
thaSkolah23
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Posts: n/a
chek it

IP:

keep a live-respect cause remember i got ur life-in-chek
i'll cast a silent-hex an make ya life a violent-mess
like a tyrant-rex i'll drive-n-chek wrek every place ya spine-con-nects
live-in-flesh stab ur cer-ebral-cor-tex
im evil-n-war-blessed more-or-less i feel warm-n-blessed
cause no1 fucks with a buck whos torn-a-chest
bastard shouda worn-a-vest now leme warn-theerest
i blister scorn-n-press while im form-in-stress
torn-some-heads 2 more-then-shreds but no1 mourns-ya-death
form-ya-dreads into a double-helix i got some troubled-feelins
i snore-at-attempts when u attest 2 test the best
well u shouda been second-guessin cause wwit outo a seconds-rest-in
youll catch 7 in the chest when the wesson-beckons
apposin-the-bible knowin-the-rival totin-a-rifle
got a bigger gun then the ei-ffle-tower i'll fite-yall-cowards
with my mite-ful-powers u more pussy then i get in the nite-ful-hours
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Old 01-08-04, 04:26 PM   #2
Dev
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Posts: 1,512
From: N.E.England
IP:

some nice multis ... maybe a bit over board.... over took the verse.... the flow was decent, but the topic lacked....try'n think of something original......... pZ
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Old 01-08-04, 04:41 PM   #3
Menik
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From: Mifflinburg, PA
IP:

Yeah this was alright i thought....your structure could use a touch up but it was still good, just try to keep your lines around the same length though.....the flow in this was alright, it stayed on through ou the piece i thought.....you had some nice multies, liked that...overall this was a alright piece, keep at it.
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Old 01-08-04, 05:15 PM   #4
thaSkolah23
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watup yo leme get some feedback--> knomsayin?
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