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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-15-04, 01:08 PM
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#1
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New to RB
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iLLaMinTid is just iLLa!
IP: 8A3E 188A
i've got red hot chilly peppers, puttin rire between buns
your thoung is roasted, before you take a small bite of one lyrically cold, my lyrics freezing below zero degrees i would thaw you out before you started to freeze my punchlines are hard hittin heatstroke and you still sweatin i didn't even touch you... you nose still begins bleedin tryin to fry me under the sun... as wrecked ships in the sky fly by no pigeon could swallow me... cuz this worm eats sodium chloride stabbin me is only puttin lungs in a bind for my mind and internals is full with carbon monoxide i'm so coo wit it, no emcee's fire could melt my ice cuz i'll rip paper! with yours and 3 other different styles lyrical miles in a file line works quicker than tums these words speak loud! that they popeye ear drums i'm fryin competition! when it's time for war i'm sick wit it the mofuccaz got sent to a hospital... and i was rushed! to the nearest clinic!
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Feedback/Poll votes would be appreciated: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112155 -vs- Ghetto Mike http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=106567 -vs- Lokeye  // + rEcoRd + \\ cHaLkEd uP: 2 DeMoLiShEd bY: 0 // + kO's + \\: 1 // + tKo's + \\: 1 |
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01-15-04, 04:22 PM
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#2
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Word.
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IP: 6FDC 23CB
This was ok here......the structure needs some work though...try keeping all of your lines around the same length so its structured good and so it helps the flow out in your pieces....try adding some multies to help the flow out and to make it better...vocab could have been up'd a bit i think...but keep at it.
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