The Real Thread!! Checkin In!!

I'mma go easy on this bitch, he is new to RB//
But easy is too hard when you as dope as me.//
Why you tryin' to rhyme? You from the home of the Oregon Duck.//
You probably good at rhymin just about as good as you fuck.//
Go ahead now you three pump chump, i'm goin' easy, just might get defeated//
But I'm not talkin about this battle yall, I'm talkin about meat this kid just beated.//
You're so weak, you're just a rap battlin' rookie//
This kid finally thought of a rap and wrote it down, SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE HIM A COOKIE!//
Two more lines including this one and I know I already got this one on lock//
Better grab that lotion and porn dog, cuz the only battle you be winnin, is the one you are about to have wit your COCK!//

C'mon kid, are you going to drop your verse or what? I don't want a win if its a no show..Thats just weak shit.

oh, really i suck cocks it wasn't my fault yo girl won't give you non so you got to beat your rocks. materfact this foo ain't got a girl he got a man it was extremely hard for his parents to understand when he said i don't want a girl i want a man tohe want a man to stick his pants. and so what if i was down duck but ain't from out so nigga don't test ya luck he only talkin about oregon cuz utah suck. you fag you would fuck your own brother not even just ya brother ya father and yo mother and then he will scream out loud is there any other. you fake mc wanabe you just mad cuz you cannot see me man yo ryhmes is weak man this ain't no battle this is a fuckin spelling bee.

Lets get some votes on this!!! Newbies droppin' lyrics! Give us some love!!

Can I get someone to please vote!! ANYONE! I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!!!!

Vote..........Just need some people to vote on this...I think I killed this foo and I really need some non newbies to tell me son.. Thanks

Umm.. MCT that was wack... the structure was awful.. you should put it into seperate lines.. punches were both played and poor...
Kyto.. the structure was better, but still off..
Try to keep all your lines the same length.. syllable wise also to get a good flow.
Personal attempts which was good.. but overall you need to add creativity and metas into your verse.. some nice touhes tho...
Both should check out the tips in WEC...

Vote - KytoKhouang

I'mma go easy on this bitch, he is new to RB//
But easy is too hard when you as dope as me.//
SELF GLORIFICATION ON AN OPENER IS WEAK
Why you tryin' to rhyme? You from the home of the Oregon Duck.//
You probably good at rhymin just about as good as you fuck.//
SECOND LINE WEAK
Go ahead now you three pump chump, i'm goin' easy, just might get defeated//
But I'm not talkin about this battle yall, I'm talkin about meat this kid just beated.//
?? TO FORCED
You're so weak, you're just a rap battlin' rookie//
This kid finally thought of a rap and wrote it down, SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE HIM A COOKIE!//
GOOD IDEA BUT NEEDS MORE FLOW
Two more lines including this one and I know I already got this one on lock//
Better grab that lotion and porn dog, cuz the only battle you be winnin, is the one you are about to have wit your COCK!//
WEAK CLOSER STILL DONT FLOW

WEAK VERSE SORRY MAN BUT YOU JUST NEED MORE WORK

oh, really i suck cocks it wasn't my fault yo girl won't give you non so you got to beat your rocks. materfact this foo ain't got a girl he got a man it was extremely hard for his parents to understand when he said i don't want a girl i want a man tohe want a man to stick his pants. and so what if i was down duck but ain't from out so nigga don't test ya luck he only talkin about oregon cuz utah suck. you fag you would fuck your own brother not even just ya brother ya father and yo mother and then he will scream out loud is there any other. you fake mc wanabe you just mad cuz you cannot see me man yo ryhmes is weak man this ain't no battle this is a fuckin spelling bee.

thIS IS A WACKED VERSE MAN I GOT NOTHING REALY TO SAY YO JOKIN???

VOTE l:::: kyto

K

I'mma go easy on this bitch, he is new to RB//
But easy is too hard when you as dope as me.//
dont self glorify...throw a punch
Why you tryin' to rhyme? You from the home of the Oregon Duck.//
You probably good at rhymin just about as good as you fuck.//
wow...really wack and no good punch
Go ahead now you three pump chump, i'm goin' easy, just might get defeated//
But I'm not talkin about this battle yall, I'm talkin about meat this kid just beated.//
not a good hard punch, meh..
You're so weak, you're just a rap battlin' rookie//
This kid finally thought of a rap and wrote it down, SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE HIM A COOKIE!//
wow...wack...wasnt feelin the whole cookie specail thing
Two more lines including this one and I know I already got this one on lock//
Better grab that lotion and porn dog, cuz the only battle you be winnin, is the one you are about to have wit your COCK!//
wow..really streatched 2nd line that threw off the flow, blah


oh, really i suck cocks it wasn't my fault yo girl won't give you non so you got to beat your rocks. materfact this foo ain't got a girl he got a man it was extremely hard for his parents to understand when he said i don't want a girl i want a man tohe want a man to stick his pants. and so what if i was down duck but ain't from out so nigga don't test ya luck he only talkin about oregon cuz utah suck. you fag you would fuck your own brother not even just ya brother ya father and yo mother and then he will scream out loud is there any other. you fake mc wanabe you just mad cuz you cannot see me man yo ryhmes is weak man this ain't no battle this is a fuckin spelling bee.

couldnt read it, really hard to, fix ya struct and write it like K did, i looked and i found 1 or 2 punches but none really, Elevate

overall - this battle goes to K..he had better structure that i could read and more harder punches

__________________

Thanks fellas. Thanks for the advice too.. It'll help me out.. Thanks for the votes.