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View Poll Results: Rate 1-4 1dope -4 go home based on diff aspects...
Dope 1 50.00%
Needs work 1 50.00%
wtf? 0 0%
go home! 0 0%
Voters: 2. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-30-04, 05:19 AM   #1
JamesJr.
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Exclamation James Jr. 1st open mic....

IP: 22D2 4A11

I'll get straight to it......

(you can tell I'm new to the site)

I.
You've never met a sick lyricist
You need to sit here and think
Nothing is as severe as this
I'm here for the kids
~
Who said I had to spread negativity?
It's been plaguing me since a teen, with rage and defensive speech
Just let me be... Just let me breathe...
~
It is as clear as the sky
I'm here to survive, don't come near...come LIVE
They're fearing my vibe... Their fear is described
~
I'm a product of consumption
Too much chronic, thought of as nothing
Until I got up & was dumping, then they got slaughtered for fronting
~
No compensation...! this is my inauguration
Stick to your job or occupation
I'm flipping the script, I'm dropping the statements
Giving crooked cops the payments
To look over my Glocks just in case this....
~
Turns to bitter conflicts, sinister contents
So I let my thoughts reflect, considerate, confidence
Bullets riddle your dawg's chest... shot to death
You lost, what's the cost of death?


James Jr.

(need beats!!!) so.. was done to "New York, New York" Instrumental
Snoop, feat. Dogg Pound

Last edited by JamesJr. : 01-30-04 at 05:22 AM.
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Old 01-30-04, 05:41 AM   #2
JamesJr.
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Exclamation 2nd edition

IP: 22D2 4A11

2nd edition

II.
Imagine every kid rapping, anything could happen
Plenty of bling, plenty of platinum
But really every kid can't have some
~
Dawg just conserve your energy,
You'll get burned relentlessly, I'm here forever to beef
Don't ever intend to think you're as clever as me
I'm a mother fu*&%$g pedigree,
~
Designing rhyming schemes, On point like 9's and beams
Cowards still rhyme with fiends... trying to get free
But are barely alive to breathe
~
Don't waste potential time with this,
Noone wants to lose
It's a case of defensive rhyming sh*t,
Something noone wants to choose
~
I tried to live righteous, yet have made many mistakes to date
My mind just likes this, but has the hate to change today
~
I didn't make the game,
I only enabled it... so I could rape the game
Only this rage and pain, could reveal the way I've changed
My name is ....James

James Jr
(AGAIN no instrumentals) so... done to WW3
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Old 01-30-04, 05:57 AM   #3
Dev
1E
 
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5

you definatley need to work on evening ya bars out, the syllable count, so it has a smoother flow to it, some of what ya was saying was decent, but other places were weak, try to be consistant,....
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Old 01-30-04, 12:55 PM   #4
WORD~PERFECT
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Your Structure Lacks....and It Seams As You Disdnt Milk Your Idea But Instaed Dragged It.you Are Not Garbage But Do Need To Elivate Keep At It.
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Old 01-30-04, 01:26 PM   #5
Menik
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From: Mifflinburg, PA
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IP: DD10 0DFF

This was ok.....strucuture needs fixed up a lot......you had multies through out the piece which made it a better read....had some ok vocab....the content in those were..ok...but just keep elevating and you will get there man....and keep at it.
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Old 01-30-04, 10:36 PM   #6
DeadlySpitta
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it was nice... u just need to even out ur bars and work on ur structures like tha others said. other than that, nice shit u got here. peep my new piece which is tha preview of a new song ne and my boyz are workin on. holla back.
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Old 01-31-04, 02:27 AM   #7
JamesJr.
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Exclamation 3rd edition

IP: 22D2 4A11

I tell em if you want it then come get it,
Don’t get it twisted,Young and gifted, I’m the one spitting
The sh*t is vicious
That’s it you’re done bi*ching, I’m the one coming committed
The mother fu*ker with the quick decisions,
Bitch just listen...
~
It was written since the day I was born!
This sh*t is wisdom made from the way I was formed
Through the days in the shade and the rain in the storm
When I went through the pain and I mourned
But the change would come forward
~
Enlightening my life, Tonight is the night
I planted the seed writing to fight
Fighting to write,
Not to be igniting the pipes
It’s tight if it’s tight
~
Now I’ll tell you why I hate the news,
Besides the *fake staged debated views
Fuck the ratings and reviews , Contemplating the way too change it
But I think it’s too late to do, They’ve manipulated entire states
Brainwashed the youth!*
~
So to me their reputation is dogshit
They owe a debt to the nation
Not nonsense
I’m sick of the constant conflicts
Fuck Saddam bitch
Where’s Bin Laden ?*
~
Try giving the people some positive details
Instead of just convicts that need jail
With no conscience
Your context is beef swelled
Claiming to be honest when everyone knows you’re retail
~
Corporate agenda passed down the pyramid of power
Of course it’s to condemn us you can hear it in an hour
It’s dictatorial distortion bow down fear it and cower
Unseen by the ones sworn to defend us from the imperial cowards
~


Peotry posts
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111087
Please give me feed back

1st battle
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111490

1st Cypher
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...366#post1150366



James Jr. @On The Spot Productions 2004

Last edited by JamesJr. : 02-02-04 at 04:09 PM.
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Old 02-02-04, 03:25 PM   #8
JamesJr.
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Lightbulb Is this improved??

IP: 22D2 4A11

Quote:
Feed back?

On this verse
improved?



FAKE EMCEES

Last edited by JamesJr. : 02-04-04 at 06:14 AM.
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Old 02-04-04, 06:12 AM   #9
JamesJr.
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IP: 22D2 4A11

This verse got slept on ....
Up N for the second time honest criticism


JamesJr.
Feb 4th
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