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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-02-04, 03:18 PM
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#1
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"The Eleete"
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I Bought Her Flowers Today
IP: 0630 0104
-I Bought Her Flowers Today-
Written By: ELEETE [Chorus 2x] Its like the flowers I have a thorn in my side Full of love an hate I even bleed red when i cry I cant reach my stems out to you Its you ive learn to despise Sittin alone in the dark Im sittin wonderin why Its Like flowers......... I bought her flowers today.......... There wasnt really any special occasion It wasnt our anniversary or any speacial arrangement I just wanted her to see how i truly felt Staring deeply into her eyes watching her heart melt She was a sign of beauty, Nothing less than perfection Makin sweet love, showing all types of affection I knew after today, that we would be forever Bound to each others love an always stay together ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Chorus 2x] Its like the flowers I have a thorn in my side Full of love an hate I even bleed red when i cry I cant reach my stems out to you Its you ive learn to despise Sittin alone in the dark Im sittin wonderin why Its Like flowers......... I bought her flowers today........ There wasnt really any special occasion It wasnt our anniversary or any special arrangement Problems have been escalating into arguments lately Cause i keep letting this jealousy bullshit overtake me I think she hates me, Cause last night it got crazy I beat the livin shit outta her in front of our baby It sad but its true, I cant seem to control it with you You drive me mad an then i cant pry my hands off you See last night i was drunk, I know its not an excuse Cause either way you look at, it still counts as abuse Beaten an battered, she now lays ina hospital bed I wish i wouldnt have done the things that i did Hush girl rest up...Youll soon again be with me I love you baby.....I hope you can forgive me ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Chorus 2x] Its like the flowers I have a thorn in my side Full of love an hate I even bleed red when i cry I cant reach my stems out to you Its you ive learn to despise Sittin alone in the dark Im sittin wonderin why Its Like flowers......... I bought her flowers today.......... There wasnt really any special occasion It wasnt our anniversary or any special arrangement It it was the day of her funeral, she was finally dead I wish i could take back all things i did an i said Now im sittin here at the foot of my bed Contemplating suicide pointing this gun at my head "I never meant to hurt her!!! I never meant for this!!!" I took a butcher knife an began to hack at my wrists "Fuck.....Why did you have to leeeeeave!!!" I stabbed myself in the stomach an started to bleed God how did this happen...please tell me why!!! My vision began to blurr as the tears covered my eyes Now on the ground lying ina a puddle of blood Barely breathing, flashbacks, reminiscing of us Suddenly the child wakes, hes up screamin an crying But i can no longer helpem "Baby cant you see that im dying?" Choking on my own breath i glance at him an i say "Baby im sorry, but daddy's gotta go away....." "I pray you grow up to be happy an free...." "Live a good life an have a great family..." "Treat your wife as though she is your queen.." "And dont ever try an grow up to be like Daddy..." "I love you baby, now give daddy your hand" I take an put the gun in my mouth.....BANG!!!!! (*Child Crying*) Its like the flowers I have a thorn in my side Full of love an hate I even bleed red when i cry I cant reach my stems out to you Its you ive learn to despise Sittin alone in the dark Im sittin wonderin why Its Like flowers......... Last edited by ELEETE : 02-10-04 at 03:11 PM. |
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02-02-04, 03:24 PM
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#2
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: C1DA C961
Wow...this was dope...your imagery was great...you had a great flow going on...great content..and I really enjoyed the last verse...and I must sat..you're probaly the most underrated emcee on this site...peace....
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02-02-04, 04:02 PM
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#3
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Flyweight
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IP: 5502 12A2
dope dope dope dope dope dope and....DOPE
__________________
The only defintion that matters...  Word Definate N Slik Shadow Vs. PROOF N Teflon NO SHOW BITCHES : Hit_Man  #
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02-02-04, 09:12 PM
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#4
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"The Eleete"
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IP: 3C42 2871
^^uppin thanks pen &word^^
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02-02-04, 09:17 PM
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#5
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1E
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IP: DF7B C8F7
i thought you had a good progression thru the verses, the last was definately the best... havent really read much of your drops, but this was good... you really got the story across nicely... with good imagery thru it..... i liked the way you started the verse, normally i dont like that repetative thing.. but thought it worked..... all in all a good drop, well worth the read......
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02-03-04, 11:57 AM
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#6
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Flyweight
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IP: E7CB E3DC
damn...wut can i say, theres only one word that can describe that..strait dopeness, the vocab was all there, the imagerey was picture perfect, the complexity n evrything was their..a bit different from otha songs drops ive seen cuz o the repeatin in each beginning verse but it was still dope, props to u
thanx fo droppin feedback on mine peace
__________________
Quote:
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02-04-04, 09:11 AM
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#7
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Guest
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IP: 4514 2C8C
--[Flow]---
Flow was straight, had some dope rhymes in there...the structure itself was nice, good bar length..: "See last night i was drunk, I know its not an excuse Cause either way you look at, it still counts as abuse" --[Vocab]-- Vocab, i felt, really started to shine through on the 3rd verse...although the first two stanza's were like, sun tryin' to shine through the clouds n' in the 3rd it broke from it's shell, you know..? Liked your terminology, & your rhymes had a certain complexity to them, not simply 3 letter rhymes...dope. --[Concept]-- Concept was nice, some could say that it has been played, however you added a personal touch n' personal emotion to it, which i thought was brutal..you had alot of nice imagry in here, really made me come into contact with the story. --[Overall]-- Not seen alot of your writing, but if it's anything like this, then i want to see alot more..a well deserved 4/5.. keep this quality up..you have alot of potential. |
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02-04-04, 10:19 AM
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#8
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: 8633 BD8F
wow, this is really good, i mean like one of the best open mics i've read for a while. you had the flow down like a motherfucker, the style/strcture was brilliant. good topic and did it well.
9/10 < i'd give ya more but ya cant give 10 really, coz theres always going to be something betta :-) fave bit = Baby im sorry, but daddy's gotta go away....." "I pray you grow up to be happy an free...." "Live a good life an have a great family..." "Treat your wife as though she is your queen.." "And dont ever try an grow up to be like Daddy (hot shit dawg, keep it up) |
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02-04-04, 10:25 AM
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#9
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Light Weight
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IP: 7796 EF32
Yo, this was alrite, wudn't say it was dope, unless its a poem? I mean its good n all, but cud u really imagine ppl latchin onto this? But yo man u got some hidden skills, it was really like .. Movin? Lol. Keep it up man, who knows you may be a writer... or a poet.. Lol
__________________
from illness 'DeliVerence' |
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02-04-04, 02:26 PM
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#10
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New to RB
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raw as hell
IP: 7A52 73B1
hey dog thanks this song is tight so u in the military i'll be in the marine in two years sniping spec ops
__________________
Lunatic
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02-05-04, 10:11 AM
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#11
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"The Eleete"
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IP: FAD9 BD2A
Uppin once again! Thanks to all you so far!
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02-05-04, 10:28 AM
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#12
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Flyweight
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IP: 4577 CD9A
Flow - pretty tight, I just noticed a line that seemed a little off every once in a while but overall good
Vocab - good, used your words well, didn't use three words to say what one could Concept - was interesting, I didn't really vibe with it but that's just me - I think other people might. The repetition did pretty well but I think you should've mentioned the hospital earlier in verse two. 'Cause verse one and three both explained why you brought flowers but we don't get that in verse two untill the end of it. Overall - nice verse, not my style but I can give it respect |
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02-05-04, 11:51 AM
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#13
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Guest
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IP: 40D6 EBC3
Cool drop man...
This is my sort of piece... So much better than writing about guns and thugs and so on... Anyone can do that... As we see from the majority of drops here in OM... This had good consistant flow to it... Dropped in only 2 places that a saw... You had some nice vocab on this... Used your topic and elaborated on it nicely... Your complexity complimented the topic well... This was a good drop... Havent seen anything from you before... So... Keep dropping... And... Hit up the OM's in my sig! Thanks... Pz... |
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02-05-04, 03:23 PM
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#14
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New to RB
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IP: 910E 2C7C
Woah! This was ill. The story telling was pretty nice. This was my favorite read since i been at this site. That shit was ill. Normally i don't like choruses in texts but it went perfect. I dont normany like repetition either, but that is one of the things that made this so ill. Definatly worth the read. Keep up the good work.
Please drop feed here when you get a chance: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111511 |
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02-05-04, 04:35 PM
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#15
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Guest
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IP: 4287 3F49
Quote:
Str8 dope is 2 words.lol This was a nice drop.Keep it up |
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