the frame is much too small
it cannot contain the difficulties we share,
it's free fare;
don't just look at me, stare,
so that you can see past the low front
it's so blunt;
speaking quickly to a slow one
and noone can be in the picture but us
...if you can't accept that,
then I'm all out of trust
theres no deal to bust, no secret operation at all
just infatuation, and a frame thats much too small
to contain the extra content,
but I still longed that there was more
to distance myself from retail
so I wouldn't have to face what was in store
smiling and nodding crossed the board,
where I've not been lost before,
skin clear; searching for truth...
we're lurching youth who lost the sores
and the electrolysis hurt like hell...it was worth it
how many shots must we take to make the picture perfect?
did you unearth it?
embolden yourself in front of all?
I am in love with your sadness, but as I recall
the frame is divided in half...
and before it was much too small

I'm all alone.

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

the content was the strongest aspect of this.... very expressive... along with the vocab it came across well, it sounded a bit poetic... the flow wasnt very good tho... apart from that... good, intresting topic...

real dope wordplay and vocab but your flow was a lil off...
tha content of wat you wrote about kept me reading and i found it interesting...
tha whole idea of tha "square" was a nice touch to xplain wat you were talkin about...
if i had to change something I would say to stop bein TOO abstract with wat your tryin to say...

OVerall: good piece and keep droppin 7 / 10

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<marquee>?</marquee>

I was writing to something called Picture Perfect.
Well, this was a dope piece, internals were dope, imagery was good and vocab used was good. Seemed poetic, but more & more open mics are gettin like this now. Pretty sad piece, showed real feeling and emotion, and thats what excelled in this piece.

Good Drop.

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LLL LW Champ
<center>Soft Focus</center>

Poetic piece, but hot one none the less, u can extend the lines/bars
this will help wordplay and will widen ur ideas
holla bk

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Thai Reppin
DYNASTY SOLDIER
Azn Blooded

This was a cool piece. The content was straight. The flow was ok. The emotion was coo, a little better in some parts than others. Overall, it was a pretty decent drop. Easy read. Keep droppin'.

Please drop feed here:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112603

I will definitely hit your pieces.
be patient, I'm slow moving.
up.

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

My Man Maven. . Dope Piece Here. . Imagery Was Nice. . Wordplay Was Definately Dope. . I Agree With Dev. . Content Was The Strongest Aspect Of This Piece. . Really Dope. . Everything Just Gelled In This Piece. . Everything Dope. . I've Said Dope Alot. . Maven Is Dope. . True That. . Xcelant Drop Man, Pz.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...376#post1168376
^ ^ CHeck That Ho. =)

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lovely piece. lol. seriously dope. you seem to have a lot of strong points
in ur writing abilities. there were a couple of parts that i mite of disliked but this
was no doubt a great verse. the flow was nice, the words were nice, and the
topic was definitely nice. something we can all relate too once in awhile becuz
we're all human. lol. but yeah man. keep up the good work. stay dope.

hit this up in return plz:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112457

pz

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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

sad to see respected pimps like maven get so few replies..

anyway..
dope piece
you kept it short and that was a good path cos you could have rambled on but didnt
very expressive verse and imagery and the personification of the frame thru out the verse was a great touch
stayed on the topic 100%..

to distance myself from retail
so I wouldn't have to face what was in store
^smiled to myself when i read that..

read it twice and it got better..
dope

made OM worth entering

This was a good piece......vocab was there an the emotion that bled through....your imagery was nice.....could see exactly what you were talking about......dope.......keep doing your thing......

to distance myself from retail
so I wouldn't have to face what was in store---this too was my favorite part. =)
Keep it up dawg.......an if you got the time hit my latest open mic up!

Foresight
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113141

Maven....I like your stuff(much as you like mine????..since you don't like me much... ) anyway..this was a very nice piece of work...to me the thing that stood out the most was your emotions...forget the flow scheme..etc....your emotions really got my attention on this.....peace....

hit that shit dog real good hey check out nano reality check tell me how u like it alright

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Lunatic