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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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02-10-04, 03:22 AM
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#1
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Word.
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CV: First Love..Feat: -Technician-
IP:
Credz:
When I first saw her my heart fluttered as she passed me by… She meant everything to me cause for her I would gladly die… Took my heart as quick as she came into my life...just like that… I stuttered when I talked cause my heart got loves rush impact… Heart fluttered when I walked as I held her hand tightly in mine… Didn’t want to let her go, all she did was smile, this might be a sign… Didn’t know what to do next, went with instincts and kissed her lips… It was a bliss that sip of pure taste, I will always remincse that trip… And when her soft voice said my name and those three words… Stole everything I had in a instant, now my heart goes with hers… -Technician-: The first time I fell in love the year ended relationship broke my heart From drove to park, that bitch did however inspire me towards spoken art This chic was my everything, I put forth so much time and effort to get her Thing is I was the one who fucked up and now I'm still trying to forget her I used to have some one I could always confide in, always by my side ridin She consistantly provided, all the love she could & for her I woulda died *then* But now, she be fuckin one of my best freinds, which was ok we were at our end.... Tho I thought he'd treat her right, but then I find out that not what he intends What can I do now? or even back then, on her, so much money I spent... Everymonth gifts in tens, I did her wrong tho and now I wish I could repent.. Heavenly sent she was my angel, I did my best to keep her from danger I cant say it any plainer, I miss my first love I'm just a bad explainer! |
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02-10-04, 03:39 AM
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#2
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1E
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IP:
more love ?....lol... thought your verses were quite expressive, specially credz, tho youve got plenty of practice at these... both verses seemed quite simple scheme wise... tech, your lines are a bit stretcvhed and so knocked the flow a bit, but they were quite consistant with eachother, content wise, so... all in all nice collab.... i would add more internals and carry the rhymes a bit further,... but.... keep at em..
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02-10-04, 03:49 AM
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#3
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Here's Lookin At You Kid
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IP:
thanks......they didnt appear stretched on aim.....wodner what happen........
uppn.........thanks for feedback
__________________
<Center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>.:Corrupted Visions:.</table></Center> |
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02-10-04, 12:36 PM
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#4
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Word.
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IP:
Thanks, Upping
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02-10-04, 02:40 PM
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#5
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Here's Lookin At You Kid
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IP:
Upping
.....................
__________________
<Center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>.:Corrupted Visions:.</table></Center> |
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02-10-04, 02:49 PM
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#6
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Banned: Spamming
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IP:
Another love story..Hmm...softy x2 now...Hmmm...I can't believe Tech got on aboard on the love boat...anyway..this was Okay
(-as someone like to say!....I think crdez's verse was more detailed and thought out..don't get me wrong though Tech..your verse was also nice...peace....~click my sig~~~ |
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02-10-04, 03:01 PM
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#7
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Word.
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IP:
Actually it was Tech that asked me to collab with him on it
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02-10-04, 04:42 PM
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#8
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Eddy.
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IP:
Very Original.. o.O
__________________
Fuck you |
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02-11-04, 03:35 AM
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#9
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Word.
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IP:
I Like Your Sig Ed
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02-11-04, 05:09 PM
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#10
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Guest
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IP:
Very nice piece here guys...
Credz: I liked your verse the most, it was really nice the way you described things through out your piece, very nice for 10 lines i must say, you had really nice multies in all of your lines, the structure was very nice, Enjoyed it, great read. Tech: your verse was really good as well, it had some good flow through out the piece, had nice multies like Credz, structure was ok i thought, multies helped with that, had good expression as well... overall a nice collab guy |
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02-12-04, 02:31 PM
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#11
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Eddy.
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IP:
Quote:
Doh.
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Fuck you |
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02-11-04, 05:54 PM
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#12
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New to RB
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IP:
I'm not sure if yall actually rap. These rhymes are hard to read on beat..meaning they might not be rap-able but it was cool to read it...you kept my attention for 3 minutes
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02-11-04, 05:58 PM
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#13
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New to RB
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IP:
Its aight...
not really feeling the style of it tho.. keep elevating.. |
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02-12-04, 02:29 PM
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#14
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Word.
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IP:
Thanks Upping
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02-12-04, 02:39 PM
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#15
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Flyweight
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IP:
you 2 killed the topic.. nice multi structural flow from both and both stayed on tpoic.. good wording, some nice creative lines.. and good collab no doubt, would sound good in audio.. feeling the beginning of credz verse most and techs throughout was kool u both did ur thing, peep this out http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113859
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