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Old 02-11-04, 10:14 PM   #1
L.A.STR~E~TZ
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Hermanos

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I feel the weight and pain of my tan brothers
latinos being accused of theft and man slaughter
I see their broken spirits and hardships
eyes bleed, and speak with barbed lips
Harrased by the ones that are designed for justice
white citizens glad with the government they trusted
They work hard their whole lives and die
no one hears their cries or sees their pride
They have crossed borders and walked miles
walk in their shoes and feel their despair and trials
Babies are being born with no healthcare
mothers cant speak english or get walfare
they are discriminated against and left on the streets
they come together fight with murderous feats
many centuries of rage is what you see in their eyes
now its to late to give them a job and apologize
mira el espirito roto de todos mis hermanos
todavia con un bello voz, nosotros cantamos
As I look at my skin color I feel nothing...but dignity
and for all my latinos, show your smile if you feelin me
then raise your hands high in the air
and put a finger up cause we never cared
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Old 02-12-04, 05:11 PM   #2
shawty"B"
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hehehe.........i liked this 1..... specially the endin..... it kinda ties in with the month too.... it gives off good imagery of what the world was like bout 50 years ago

..............fav part..............

As I look at my skin color I feel nothing...but dignity
and for all my latinos, show your smile if you feelin me
then raise your hands high in the air
and put a finger up cause we never cared

(hey wat does "ermanos todavia" mean i kno the rest of it is it looks like the broken spirit of all my..........((dunnot these 2 words))...........with a beautiful voice, we sing)

reel gud peice,keep droppin

.....bless
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Old 02-12-04, 07:07 PM   #3
L.A.STR~E~TZ
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i spelt hermanos wrong, means brothers. todavia means still, as in

"still with a beautiful voice, we sing"
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Old 02-12-04, 08:45 PM   #4
~RaPiDfIrE~
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well this don't tie in with Black history month since this was about latinos...altho I guess since it's non-white that somehow makes it fit in? lol

for the sake of criticism, this could use some work...mainly in the flow, it was lacking syllables in some lines..but the content was real good, u used nice imagery and got ur point accross while seeming only a little racist lol, but racism is good to a certain extent..overall this was a pretty nice piece, with a few minor adjustments it'd be a lot better though..

peace
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Old 02-13-04, 05:05 PM   #5
L.A.STR~E~TZ
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thanx^ i guess you do make a point, any more feedback? uppin
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Old 02-15-04, 11:02 PM   #6
L.A.STR~E~TZ
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Uppin.
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