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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-12-04, 12:14 AM
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#1
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PuRe AzN..
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Till Eye Die Anthem (struggles)
IP: 5BEE 1725
{Hook.. i guess lol} I know its hard... to step in a kids body with a mind of a man.. I know its hard... but god send me a message.. a sign of a plan.. I know its hard... to keep away ya skill an overflowing wanigan.. I know its hard... But these are my struggles and i will conquer them.. My song my athem compressed with emotion All those past years did it have a different notion Why fight for somthing not there.. i gotta stay focused Please believe.. I'd Rather state this motion Sealed within my soul, I dont hold the answer My uncle died when i was 10.. no not from cancer Suicide...... his thought of life was rancor I still stay with my pen and paper.. my deadliest weapon I rep my asian backround.. pride till death kid My life normal, but consolidated with conflicts I'm a rebel, a hero no i cant let this harm stick Pain Sorrow and Hate all together condensed Math im x......... the way i never stay constant I'm never noticed matter a fact im impersonal Nobody knows or cares and that is the worst of all First Born........ does this mean im first to fall Am i cursed........ or is everyone ill-fated If I ever have a chance to make a difference i will state it This is my song, my anthem, in epic porportions I speak the truth im not fake I will inform this This is me, my rules........... i will inforce this........ Please Believe {Hook.. i guess lol} I know its hard... to step in a kids body with a mind of a man.. I know its hard... but god send me a message.. a sign of a plan.. I know its hard... to keep away ya skill an overflowing wanigan.. I know its hard... But these are my struggles and i will conquer them..
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Nuff Said Last edited by TiLLEyEDiE : 02-14-04 at 12:25 AM. |
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02-12-04, 01:41 AM
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#2
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PuRe AzN..
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IP: 5BEE 1725
up it jeez feedback would be nice
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Nuff Said |
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02-12-04, 01:46 AM
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#3
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New to RB
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IP: EC0B 84C7
well done. the beginning was the best part of this i'd say. some of
the rhymes were lost but it still made for a good verse. i was actually impressed by it, seeing your record. but then again, records don't mean diddly squat if you think about it. but i got several images in my head from this one. the structure and flow was good, with the exception of rhymes missing. the vocab was nice, and i felt the topic, it had heart. hit this up in return plz http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113569 keep writing. pz
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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center>  </center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>
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02-12-04, 02:23 AM
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#4
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PuRe AzN..
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IP: 5BEE 1725
up it
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Nuff Said |
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02-12-04, 04:48 PM
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#5
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PuRe AzN..
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IP: FE3F D363
up it
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Nuff Said |
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02-12-04, 05:48 PM
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#6
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PuRe AzN..
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IP: FE3F D363
feedback pleez
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Nuff Said |
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02-12-04, 05:51 PM
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#7
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New to RB
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IP: F127 8F9A
This was a good Open Mic. I like how you put your struggles into it. It was good and had good vocab.
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<img src="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=9053&stc=1". A Writer`s Talent Comes From A Writer`s Mind M.Perror Ming<>Literate<>Student
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02-12-04, 06:18 PM
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#8
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PuRe AzN..
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IP: FE3F D363
up again
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Nuff Said |
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02-12-04, 06:27 PM
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#9
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New to RB
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IP: 202C A952
This is feedback...
lol jk... nah this was actully ok... vocab lacked... but it was nice dunny... i mean i read it so it had to be atleast decent... (lol jk)... i'm such a joker... Peep out my H.E.l.l. OM ... its nice too Caesar - On3
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~Sitting In Elevation Position~ Free Agent Just A Sick Newbie Murked - Lust Lost - None |
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02-14-04, 12:20 AM
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#10
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New to RB
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IP: BD1D A6D4
nice drop had a good flow and nice vocab while i was reading it it was like struggles were mine it gave me that type of feeling
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02-14-04, 01:00 AM
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#11
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Flyweight
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IP: 6236 079F
Several nice lines, liked the emotion you gave. As mentioned there were some missing rhymes. Liked this line:
Math im x......... the way i never stay constant ...and what's a "wanigan"? Hit something in my sig - thnx. (Broken Metamorphosis if you haven't yet preferably) |
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02-14-04, 01:10 AM
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#12
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PuRe AzN..
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IP: C9F3 CF94
a word..
definetion..-a chest for cherished items
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Nuff Said |
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02-14-04, 09:05 AM
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#13
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Flyweight
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IP: C1DA C961
o man this is better than i thought.....lol.......hellz keep reppin azn pride.......yo this shyt was hot, but i didnt know wat a wanigan was untill i read the post^^^lol.....overall i liked it so it pretty good.....check out mah collab with krogenix called....was that ur aimmm..trust me its worth reading
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<img src="http://www.iownjoo.com/freeimghost/InfiniteSkillz/Oliver2.jpg"> |
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02-15-04, 01:33 AM
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#14
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PuRe AzN..
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IP: C9F3 CF94
hey hey thanx for the feedback lets get some more...
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Nuff Said |
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as his sweat pounded the ground and left burnt black marks on the path as he walked towards me with crimson-like skin and universal black horns and as he reached for my lifeless corpse a black-robed figure that was hard to discern whispered to me "Your days are numbered".
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