Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-15-04, 01:02 PM | #1 | ||||||
Light Weight
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Warning!
IP: 6D0E 69D5
This is Magnificent, Not Fifty Cent
somethin i just cooked up... Pressed to be flexin and tested by confession thus blessed is my message not frought with aggression So best keep em guessin and fade back to da shades My microphone pressin with attack between ya blades, Shoulders, rock it like boulders, VIP card holders, Yo World War Three, You know me and my soldiers, peace defenders, social agenda mixed up in a blenda mass media sold out and the devil's the lender So who bought it? Maybe us when we should have brought it don't see it? Your eyes must be blind or at least dotted and ink blotted, overanalyze, with focus on the prize show dignity in our rise look to the skies forget the mesmerize of politicians who invent words like fictician and well used elisions . . . . . . cuz it's their mission so fight with precision, cuz you'll need against da swords and da slings make careful decisions, or you'll be caugt by da whores and da bling holla back when you peep this... {Peace} |
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02-15-04, 02:17 PM | #2 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: 11F0 89D4
you had some pretty cool ideas and good flow in this...you kept it real man...somewhat went off....but it was a good read.....i can see some improvement in u with some multis here and some internals there...
props and 1.
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..Ghetto Essence.. |
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02-15-04, 02:29 PM | #3 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 202C A952
kid you have alot of potential... i see it here in this piece... this ain't the illest... it was nice... no real complexity but i mean ish was good tho... keep elevating... i was some what likin this... multis an ish was nice... keep gettin at it dunny... overall 7/10
Caesar - On3 Peep my ~A bullet for your thoughts~
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~Sitting In Elevation Position~ Free Agent Just A Sick Newbie Murked - Lust Lost - None |
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02-15-04, 03:19 PM | #4 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 24A3 0EF0
not bad piece
flowed well.. u seemed abit too focused on that though and it hindered what you were trying to say overall content was alright beter than average, especially from a newer member just keep writing.. you'll improve with time expreiment with rhyme schemes ideas etc pax |
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02-15-04, 06:35 PM | #5 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 152C 56ED
thanks for the feed yall... i just cranked it out at work... it definitely has some large holes... I think the next step is to pick some significant topics to talk about...
keep it comin {Peace} |
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02-15-04, 11:52 PM | #6 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 152C 56ED
can i get just one more feed on this?
anybody? {Peace} |
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02-16-04, 12:01 AM | #7 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 43A7 3FE0
I agree this was a pretty good piece.....your structure in this was pretty good in it.....the flow in this flowed good through out it, it stayed on point.....you had some alright vocab in there....had some multies....overall pretty good...keep at it.
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