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Old 02-15-04, 11:24 PM   #1
YoungBobby
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im crazy enough to grab a gat and rat-a-tat-tat/
you cant make it on your own son, cool it, you cant hit a home run with a bullet so drop the bat and step back/

ill send them to ER, get played like a porno tape in my VCR, screw em like the lid on a jar/
and leave them with a deep wound that will soon be a scar, the skulls on mars/

were just MCs who tempt me, dont set trip but ill empty my clip when i flip/
send your body on a trip, slip it in the cargo of a shuttle and to mars you go/

just so i wont get busted, i get pussy so wet the smell lingers, insert my finger/
and bring it out rusted/
this is a little keystyle i wrote tonight, im tired and have no rhythm in my head but i thought it was OK under the circumstances
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Old 02-16-04, 12:04 AM   #2
Menik
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This needs some work.....structure in this needs worked on, try to even your lines up a little bit more so its structured better and so it helps the flow out in the piece....the flow in this fell off....try to add some multies....but keep at it.
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