my emotions are restless, and my thoughts are abusing/
a million ideas racing, it couldn't be more confusing/
My future is unclear, I ask God to show my plan/
and he responds not with an answer, but a "fuck you man"/
Suicide is in heavy debate, but I've never taken the easy way out/
those of you who can't get a break know what I'm talkin about/
Depression is one step ahead of me, i can't seem to beat it/
and the more I go on, the more I continue to feed it/
Went to counseling to kill my problems and learn more about me/
turns out My problems are stubborn, and won't die without me/
so than I look to my father who walked out, all he says is"I understand"
and I reply by sayin how the fuck can you do that, your not even a man/
when the weight is too heavy i talk to a friend who takes my mind off the pain/
but the very next day I get hints that me and my boy are no longer the same/
I ask him whats goin on, and if maybe I did something wrong?/
than he proceeds to tell me that I'm livin in a song/
he tells me that My heart is the beat, My past is the first verse and my future is the last/
and that it will change for the better, and just keep the hook in my grasp/
I take his advice to heart and slowly start to feel better/
than the person who had just saved me died from a steel letter/
the sender was obvious, but the message was unclear/
tryin to read it, i dropped only one tear/
he was one of the few things I had to live for, wondering why he was taken from me/
but I wipe off the tear and live like he'd want, cause I knew that he loved me/
I'm jealous of his fate but know I must use it as my motivation/
Realize where my mind at isn't right, so I look for relocation/
found a comfortable spot, it was kept within a girl/
a woman who seemed to change every bad in my world/
I've never felt this good, so I decided she was the one/
to deliver me from my demons and than to deliver my son/
We were inseperable, like we were attatched at the soul/
I wish I would have seen that this love had it's toll/
she told me she was sick, and she would eventually die from H.I.V/
than I dropped to my knees and begged her to tell why she chose me/
she answerd by saying true love has no limits, and I wanted to die in your arms
and that she wanted me to keep an eye on our seed so he stayed out of harm/
Now I realize that every good thing has something just as bad/
and wondering if my future was really worth being a dad/
deciding to hang on, to carry out my loves only request/
My son was delivered from a hole stretching from her abdomen to her chest/
see she had died that night, the labor was too much/
I place my son in her arms hoping he would remember her touch/
15 years later, everything I ever lost or never had I have gained through my son/
he had this incredible ability to make my life fun/
he was caring like his mother, and like my friend he was wild/
he even had advice for coping that I wish I had as a child/
he gave me the world, and all he wanted was my story/
i told him about my past and he smiled with pride and glory/
he told me, "dad, you should be proud..your a survivor, and I love you for that"/
I started to shed tears, so he hugged me as i told him that I loved him back/
many years later, he has grown into a wonderful man/
supporting his family by the sweat of his hand/
But I have to break some news to him, I feel it will be too devastating/
so I keep it to myself and start to prepare my soul for some elevating/
I was also diagnosed with aids, i would die very soon/
why am I such a victim, why couldn't I die in the womb/
The answer becomes clear, I am an example for many generations/
when I come to this understanding i quit the hesitation/
so i call my son, and tell him the bad news/
Hoping that he plays my song to his children so they understand the blues/
I hear the phone drop, and soon after get a call from his wife/
she tells me that what I had told him had ended his life/
once again, I am the victim of theft/
my whole world stolen and crushed, i have nothing left/
getting sick and tired of the song that i'm hearing/
I decide to stop it without caring or fearing/
I ended my life at that moment, right there on the spot/
as my spirt rises I start to see people wrapping my body in cloth/
than I hear the phone ring, the call was meant for me but I didn't get to talk/
My son wasn't dead, he passed out from a clott/
wondering what the hell have I done, wanting to restart my song/
But i can't, all I can hope is that my sons continues to play, but doesn't finish it wrong/

__________________

Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.

"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox

The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew

come on folks lets get some feedback

__________________

Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.

"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox

The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew

it wus good man keep it up

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IM BACK BITCHES

that was the dopest shit man yer vocab was hardcore
vocab: 10/10
flow 7/10
punches 9/10
overall 8 1/2
ya man thats dope shit

Leave a link to were you replied in an open mic or this will be closed.

__________________
S-Own Squod
RB Text Tourney Finalist
Orginal Relaunched Member.
Password Aka The Masked
2nd Moderator on Rapverse Ever
Not quite legendary yet....

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1497155



alright lets get some feedback now...

__________________

Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.

"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox

The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew

yo dawg that shit was dead tight

come on....feedback...i'm tryin to get better here....critique my piece

__________________

Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.

"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox

The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew

come on ladies and gents...give me some good feedback.....don't sweat the length....it's worth it

__________________

Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.

"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox

The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew

Very deep peice, its good when people actually seem to be able to understand the topics their writing about. So many kids wanna talk about deep subjects but end up screwing around and having no actual feeling in their work. Whereas you were able to face topics of death and depression without slipping from the subject. good shit.

Rhyming wise was also pretty solid, some lines were a bit short or ended low on syllables, but the bars always connected with a rhyme and the flow worked pretty well, there was also a good show of vocab in the peice.

Overall i liked it and im lookin forward to hearin more from ya bruh.

peace.

__________________
RIP jono, peace out bboy.
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