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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-23-04, 01:09 AM
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#1
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New to RB
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Oxnar Diss
IP: 88C4 C811
Oxnar You Suck Stick To Giving Little Shows And Blows, Cus You Whack Your Lyrics Suck Sounds Like You Getting Raped In A Stack Of Hay I Straight Come Down Yo Block And Shoot Yo Hood Up With A Tech Nine While I Bust My Rhyme Rat-tat-tat On Yo Ass Thinkn' You Can Step To S.c.b Who In Tha Fuck Do You Think Yo Be Shit I Sling Crack You Fucken Dingbat All Up On Dick They Aint No Room Fo A Non Ass Rappn' Nigga Like You, You Probably Got Money With No Honey, You Probably Mex Gettin No Sex, When S.c.b Creeps Tha Shit Gets Deep Layn' Oxnar Down On Tha Motherfucken Concrete
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08-23-04, 01:41 AM
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#2
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New to RB
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
hmmm... i sense anger.. haha.. that's not bad, BUT.. it could be channeled more efectively
for starters, you might want to break down your bars.. so it's easier to see the rhymes.. also, it never hurts to use more imagery, metas, multis, wittier punchlines... but all in all, i like the emotion and anger.. keep doing yo thang. ~Osk
__________________
my verse --->  <--- your verse
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