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Old 08-27-04, 03:07 AM   #1
JackNapier
This is my first post!
 
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First Post...

IP: CCB0 815F

...some innate shit...off the wall a bit....


....There's no niceness, in these lines my rhymes are timeless,
Cuz even deaf kids would never think to sign this//
...I'll leave your mind whipped, leave your spine snipped,
now walk this line bitch...cuz quotes on some "I got no time shit"//
...Now watch my life shift into overdrive, I'm open wide,
my words are spoken wise, and hopin for total demise//
...The entire globe cries realizin the attrocities in this galaxy,
Created for you, compliments of AlexV//
....In wonderland where Alice be, I'm the Calico Cat,
with much malice, though stacked, and I'mma leave it at that//
...I'll leave this siutation in a state of deterioration,
now I'm thinkin ya need to fear this escaped mental patient//
...With non-sentimental vacant thoughts that I'm creating,
and everything that I say is intended to be degrading//
...An inferiority complex and most of y'all will get vexed,
but I'm past the breaking point, now I'm on the 13th step//
...I'm a lurking death, and impending doom, leek gets in the room,
Only question left of you is "will I make it through?"....
...The border line, there's no more time, I'll just whore these rhymes,
There's floors to climb and walls to scale and much left in this tall tale....
.....Or a tale of two cities, with an independent frail committee,
committing the most unspeakable, horrorshow unthinkables...
....I'm falling into sink holes, my thoughts rapidly depleting,
my plan is on track for catastrophe and completing....
....My inner-visions deciving me leaving me with spiral-vision,
I'll flip the fuck out and whyle right out of my position....
....With a vile disposition, stuck in this position my muscles cramping,
cuz I'm dampning this worthwile, uncanny conviction....
...My fertile dictions, spits inflictions out of this atmosphere,
where it's packed this year, with stars in the stratosphere...
...With bars that don't matter here, fears are only what ya make em,
So I'mma make mine non-existent and take risks to get paper//
....I'm a fine instrument of warfare, I'll end this caper,
A sniper with the hatred to pull it now and not later//
..A lost crusader on a mission to escape this incubator,
I was born dead, no ressurrection, just faint heartbeat detection//
...With no reflection in mirrors, my voice is just clearer,
in hi-fidelity, with me seeping out your speakers indefinately//
....I'm geeked outta my mind, but I try to strive professionally,
I'm exceptionally loud....when compared to quiet men//
...I'm the variable in an uncontrolled environment, I'm high again,
I left the life of sobriety, and I'm all about drunken violence//
....We love to hear bitches scream out in pain, in punctures silence
with fermented ripeness, his highness, the duke of ephigy//
...Will puke effortlessly and then turn and ask for extacy,
"let me get two..that's what was reccomended to me"//
...And most affectionately I'll smack my chick for lookin cock-eyed,
I stop vibes, quicker than the soft lives of lost tribes//
...I've only got five left until I go absolutely criminal,
everything your not sure of in this flow is subliminal//
...I love visuals, when I'm trippin face, a sinning grace, was unaccepted,
And left unprotected with these livid traits//
...Now I'm pounding these liquors straight through my liver,
as I force the last shot down, sounds like I'mma drown in a brown river//
...I'm stricken with illness, I got the chills and I start to shiver,
my beginning came to quick, but I hope the ending's quicker....


..........JackNapes............
.........aka AlexV.........
............aka....lol...Sigmond Stardust....


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Old 08-27-04, 12:46 PM   #2
!Mc Merc!
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ILL, good sturcture,flow,moderated vocab good ryhme scheme, but lacked wordpla
overall it was good.
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Old 08-27-04, 04:17 PM   #3
BlackMagik
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shit was cool...long but worth the time to read...it DID lack wordplay, but overall this was a pretty decent piece...7/10 homie keep droppin....................................

Oh an be on the lookout for my drop with Payday..."Last Emcees Standin'"...aight thats about it...1
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Old 08-27-04, 04:22 PM   #4
KiTTie
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props.... 2 long though. cut it down a bit. no1 wants 2 spend a fuckin hour reading 1 post. im startin a crew and we need recruits. holla to Infinite tryouts if u interested.
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Old 08-27-04, 08:00 PM   #5
Ms.Skillz4daze
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Ya.. U nyce. To section your piece off a bit would be my only advice.

(Hey did that rhyme? )
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Old 08-27-04, 08:17 PM   #6
Ms.Skillz4daze
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy_women
^what he said lol

I am a woman, Dear. ("Ms." Skillz4daze) Take care..
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