"WAR". verse 1.

This is it. {Gunshot} its time for war.
End of your shyt. {Gunshot} won’t come back for more.
You’ll seize to spit. {Gunshot} locked out the door.
Gather your finest lyrics kause its time for war.
This is it. {Gunshot} its time for war.
End of your shyt. {Gunshot} won’t come back for more.
You’ll seize to spit. {Gunshot} locked out the door.
Gather your finest lyrics kause its time for war.

Soldiers gear up. Its finally battle time.
And were gunna fight till I kick one final rhyme.
Till this page contains no unwritten line.
Until the title of this bitch is conquered by mine.
After I drain the lyrics all out of his mind.
All five of em. Ill keep fightin em.
Send me your joints. Ill keep lightin em.
Your lines are bitin none.
I write and tighten em.
Don’t even read yours kause I no I’m smitin em.
Fuck Buddha Kause ill enlighten em.
Cant start to learn when its time to swim.
This opportunity wont come again.
Especially for him.
I’m crawlin up into under your skin.
I have enough knowledge for this final battle win.
Ill be at the library later tonight. Studyin.
readin up on the felony.
So I can learn like. Speak like. And think like the enemy.
You ain’t ahead of me.
And sure as hell ain’t no friend of me.
You only wish you had a half of a quarter of the skill of me.
When it comes down to it. Face it. Your never me.
First of all you have no lyrics to go with that absent style B.
Its crunch time now. This you don’t seem to see.
I’m so far ahead of you its time to call it quits.
Don’t you see. I rap circles round this bitch.
Your still confused over how this beat flips.
And how every real rapper flows and spits.
The difference between you and me. Your just talkin shyt.
You better find and hold on to your wits.
Kause you gunna need em when I’m through with this.


This is it. {Gunshot} its time for war.
End of your shyt. {Gunshot} won’t come back for more.
You’ll seize to spit. {Gunshot} locked out the door.
Gather your finest lyrics kause its time for war.
This is it. {Gunshot} its time for war.
End of your shyt. {Gunshot} won’t come back for more.
You’ll seize to spit. {Gunshot} locked out the door.
Gather your finest lyrics kause its time for war.

Its tight, with a hook and every thing, good vocab ok stucture. the lyrics was tiiiggghhttt. good job.

The hook was hot...I like the way you through the gun shots in there and shit. The lyrics to the song were there...it's just some stuff were off. Don't get me wrong, the point of the song was right there. Hands down...but you should have stopped and thought about a way to make your lines abit better. But your there and you got good ideas down. Return me the favor and tell me what you think bout my drop. I'm a Soldier.

[QUOTE=BLANK
You only wish you had a half of a quarter of the skill of me.
When it comes down to it. Face it. Your never me.
[/QUOTE]

^^^^ favorite line...this piece was dope as fuck!!! Feelin tha hook and the verse...I could hear this playin inside my head...not many open mics put that kinda effect on me...lol...ne wayz...nice flow...structure was perfect...get at me homeboy...this was amazing

thanks for the feedback. yea i no a few parts got choppy but that was the first draft so i decieded to post it anyways. appreciated..
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just uppin. kan i get a lil more feedback?

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thanks man. like i said ruf draft. but it dose sound prety good to the beat.
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this shit was tite...nice drop...keep dropin' dat dope shit...