Ok - so I been taking heat on my last few tracks - cats saying I'm lyrically weak, and flow good. I thought these were my best writtens yet. I'm no text cat - but hey - I still write every track, just like a text head - it's just that I spit it. Peep these verses, and rate the kid...

Colab verse with Calam "You Gon Love Me"
Who it is... - ya ya'll know it's the Phenom/
all ya'll suckas know that He-strong, when the beat drops then I be-gone/
never Sleep-on...me , cause I correct you, when you be-wrong/
On the mic in front of the crowd - is where I'll always be-long/
yo I keep-on with the battles, but release my hidden genius/
My writtens are feverish, might as well just keep on freein this/
believe in this track, enjoy and live the experiance/
Just by hearin this - cats have been known to go delirious/
I'm Serious - so hate again, the fact that I'm Canadian/
Cats laugh, then hear my lyrics - and that gets em dazed again/
I play to win, Don't care if you a foe or maybe a friend/
I sprinkle rhymes with seasonin, so cold the way I'm freezin men/
I see ya end, Like sands through the hour glass, the hours pass/
your sound gets sour fast, when Phenom-in-all's sig-sauer blasts/
my power lasts, now the top cats watchin their throne/
Cause like a van on movin day - yo - I'm taking it home/

and "Blowin up ya box" colab with Seven, Tempa, & Senser:
Phenom-in-all spittin flames like missles comin outta pistols/
when I rip shows, with sick flows, I'm leavin tags stuck on big toes/
You'd do better to not show, cause my hot flow is hostile/
think you better, but you not though, cause my vocab is Colossal/
Good thing we ain't crew because I hate to disarm a friend/
Comparin me to you, is like comparing King Kong to men/
You play your track for you girl, and she waits for your song to end/
Then she smiles at you and asks "When we hearin Phenom again?"/
Pulitzer Prize winner, and thats just for beginners/
I know my flow is always straight, cause my liquid spits linear/
My obsession with assension is my self-expression/
and my display of modern skill, is beyond comprehension/
A skilled artist - the way Phenom paints a 16/
Compare it to Michelangelo painting the Sistene/
My flow is always shined up - yeah you know it's always glistenin/
You realized it's pristine, when you started listenin/

*edit - here's the audios: www.soundclick.com/phenominall

1

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lyrically you have gotten better, i can definitaly tell the difference in these two tracks, "blowin up boxes" showed your best lyrical ability yet,i liked the bar"you play your track for your gurl,and she waits for your song to end,then she smiles and asks,when we hearin phenom again""that was hot,and every line till the end got better, so, i dont think your that bad, just my opinion. pc

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*FluidMusic*


*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*

yea, the second one is much better than the first one but it could be better.

Like the first one, had nice rhyme scheme and flow, but seriously, no lines that make the listener laugh or go OHHH SHIT!!. It's jus, blah. But flow and rhymin' would be good there, but the content is aiight, not the worst, not the greatest.
2nd one was better. You had some nice tries at meta's and did good wit some. But you should try addin' wordplay into yo verses to make them sick. That will make the listener be like DAMN!!! And NO, it does NOT have to be a diss to someone to make the listener go OH. It jus needs to be somethin' thats very creative and shit. Or put some killer strings of multi's in there. But try for wordplay, and your shit will be hotter. and that's word. pc

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i dont think your lyrics are that bad... I think the last track you did blowin up ya box was fuckin dope- I think your lyrics in the shit we keystyled and spit "Give up the Goods Remix" were completely on par too... You've been workin on your flow and lyrics and both improvin so dont stress.

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^^^

Good looks man. Ya - I only started spittin here in June, so I thought stuff was gettin good. Thanks for the support, and for the cats who think my lyrics need improvment, keep droppin feed cause I'm here to elevate. 1

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yea, work on wordplay more. And if you ever feel in the mood to brag then try makin' dope punchlines. Could do that for a hater diss type track too. But yea, pc

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..."тнє ℓєgα¢у"