http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=155807

..So like side orders after seconds, yall will get slaw third... cuz like *Arty Fish all In Tell A Gents* i got heads *imagining they were speaking to themselves underwater*..punches rattle throats..so like *Pat Three Ark All Re Lay shun ships* i got heads *hitting their backs in sets of three hoping they will get layed by battle boats*!

..Like 'fat people in faulty swing sets' you 'drop fast' when i pop ass and shame brothers cause saving you is "un-faith-umm-able/unfathomable" like "athiests trying to remember the name of cains brother**

..You break teeth from biting so and you can't get no peace when fighting cause i got "air-oh-dyn-hammocks/aerodynamics" like "kobe having sex in flying hanging sleeping items**

..You kids are bitter, when I spit bars that are quick like sprinters.. cause I pose more *word-play* than *a game of scrabble with chinese people in egyptian rivers**


there ....another hot piece.....leave feeeddd

hmmm,not bad i feel ya style but not ya structure .....
its hard to follow at times.....but i don't consider you a noob..lol
add multi's n tone the explanations down a bit..i bet half the
peeps that read this don't even understand it...nice drop....
but ya style still needs work in my eyes dawg...

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i'll play on ya consience, ya contents is complete nonsense
speak of biting, then you fucks flip everyone of my damn concepts
what the fuck, was you high..?
did you think i wouldn't recognize lines that i made
then you come up some bullshit tryna prove that im gay...!
.
.
fake fucks..move on...!

its not explaining its part of the bar....its a simile .....

uppin

upppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppiiiiiiinnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnn

I found that hard to follow and it lacked structure. Pretty weak i'm gonna have to give it 2 stars but who knows maybe it will sound dope in audio. Keep it coming No man is born without potential! I think you will only get better just try to write about something personal to you or something people can relate to but keep it in good taste. Actually I read it over & I guess i'll give you a 3 star for it's creativity that was actually aiight. Just it's hard to rate because I might sing it to a different tune than you. Remember your toughest critic is you so if you dig it than it's all good baby baby!! Even if you is a fat phony! jk Jay Z & Biggie smalls nigga shit yo drawls

aight i know i just keyed that piece in like 2 min....its like my worst drop since....but thanks for the feed.....

lol at 2 mins........

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Guess who?...

...Paramik Fuckin'...

...Owns You!

It was aight....i wouldnt say you were a master...But some good ones...overall just work on your structure..cuz it was kinda of hard to read...peace...

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