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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
11-01-04, 06:21 PM
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#1
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This is my first post!
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SumThAn qUIcK
IP: B5DE 08F1
Iight Ight LiSSeN...
Im doin diz one for a da niggaz wit rap dreamz//Cuz most yall juss niggaz aint got shyt but a mouse n computer screen..you aint gettin no where//Daz like bein on KeMo n tryn ta grow hair//Easy Beats in this so be ware//Ima soldja boi i seen more crack den underwear//U ur just tryn ta b hard//im rippin u so bad ur soon ta b gettin get well cardz//Im goin threw diz step by step lyke faboulus's breathe//Takin over wit da respect easy as 1 n den da 2 to n den da 3//U watched friday n thought dat how ta b a G?//But boi how many times i tell you u aint neva gonna b lyke ME//your spits are juss a whole lodda nuthan..thank god for da backspace KEY// ...MmM juss sumthan real quick..Get at me n lemme kno bout it.. ....1 |
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11-01-04, 07:03 PM
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#2
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Puttin MD On The Map
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IP: 408D D2A2
hmm....fix your structure make your lines like this
........ ......... ....... ........ dont just jumble them all together its harder to read....get rid of the// and use ... it looks better...you had okay flow thats about it....you need to elevate and get better wordplay.....refrain from usin the word nigga to much in ya verses....make ur lines longer....think out punchlines..i notice your new but im just tryin to help any way i can....hit me up threw aim if you wana learn nething else....the aim name is in my profile..just click my name(streetryda) and the view profile...then there ya go....no hate tho just helpin ya out is all.....it was not to shabby for a newb freestyle... peace~1
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