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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
12-16-04, 10:36 AM
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#1
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Tight.
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Insect to Society
IP: C959 12E0
An insect to society I woke up one morning, I lay awake in my bed wondering why being different was on the wing I was borderline of societies worst, I was of no use to the world I flipped on the news, “Another man mysteriously murdered”... my head twirled. ….. I littered and I spat on the ground with distaste I was late for my job, and quickly made haste Than I thought to my self “fuck it, it’s over” I have nothing to live for If I’m living to die my fate is my own, I felt like I prisoner of war Trapped, with no route to escape, I worked hard and never was late I went to school for 20 years and I never made a mistake But now I realised if I’m leaving soon than I might as well make well of my time ….. So I sat back and kicked up my feet, Turned off the T.V. and proceeded to eat My milk was sour and my lettuce was rotting Like myself, I could tell it was clotting My Mind made up, not enough blood pumping I could see that I was metaphorically jumping ….. I knew money wasn’t in the game for me So I decided, find my own way to be ‘lite I thought and mustered my brains knowledge Short of thinking, as I was failing college I didn’t have the brains to come out on top So I looked for rewind And my life stopped. |
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12-16-04, 10:38 AM
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#2
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
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12-16-04, 04:59 PM
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#3
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
uppin this up up and away.
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12-16-04, 05:02 PM
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#4
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Intricate.Minded
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IP: 9894 AD38
This Was A Good Piece, Nice Imagery & Story, You Need To Improve Yo Vocabulary Though, You Have a Good Story Telling Style, Which Get's Your Message Across Good.
Your Structure Was On Point, But Yo Flow Fell Off A Few Time's, Which Is OK. Btw You Wanna Do A Collabo?
__________________
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12-16-04, 05:18 PM
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#5
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
Thanks for your feedback, why is your name all blurred? Dont' you want people to know who you are?
And yes I wouldn't mind doing a collab. Aim=givenlyricalight Msn=AaronThangarasu@hotmail.com Last edited by Given Light : 12-16-04 at 05:40 PM. |
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12-16-04, 05:21 PM
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#6
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Intricate.Minded
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IP: 9894 AD38
I Got A Name Wave, Have You Gotta Alias? Mine Is Conclusion, So, Yeah I'll Get At You.
__________________
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12-16-04, 05:39 PM
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#7
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
Given Light off rb LoL *says in hushed voice*
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12-17-04, 03:29 PM
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#8
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
could I get some more feedback?
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12-18-04, 10:52 AM
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#9
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
I will respond, to your om's or anything, if you leave some feedback.
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12-19-04, 12:27 PM
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#10
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
upping this topical.
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12-19-04, 05:56 PM
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#11
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
uppin for some feedback.
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12-19-04, 06:17 PM
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#12
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Bonecrushing Nigga
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IP: DEB2 BDC7
Quote:
just to tell ya... we dont do that.... mainly cos theres no mods in open mic and the newbs trash the place with open mics with leaving feedback on any shit... ...and your openmic.. it was pretty good.... ya flow was really good...... the title you gave it was very good.....and it matched ya verse
__________________
Guess who?... ...Paramik Fuckin'...
...Owns You! ||RVS Text Champion||
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12-19-04, 09:45 PM
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#13
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
^so no leaving links eh? Well that's retarded....
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12-20-04, 12:48 PM
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#14
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
uppppppppppin this
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12-20-04, 10:02 PM
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#15
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Tight.
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IP: C959 12E0
upping this buisness nahmsayin?
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