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12-21-04, 10:06 PM | #1 | ||||
yawn
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The Final Kiss
IP: CB2A 9D70
Our false sense of immortality blocks the reality Where some live to the brink of death in a fogged fantasy Until it becomes too obvious the danger we're facing Then faces become stained with the painful realization A mother sees and kisses her daughter goodbye Unknowing fate places this her one last time That she could gaze into her babys eager eyes That matched the uplifting clear summer day skies As she set off to school, like every other day To return home again with so much to say To amaze her family with her intellectual acheivments But today, became a date thats only described in greivance As she started off her walk, Taunting the dog next door A window cracked open, and the sound of a car horn A man, with the most trusting and seductive voice Calls out her name, motions her to the rolls royce That was the last anyone has heard her sing Twas that day that Fate grabbed her string Streched it to its point, and grabbed their scissors The reaper grabbed his scythe,the final time she kissed her Tis a topical on death and losing. The line limit was only 20, so i had to squeeze the story in there. Feedback please.
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12-21-04, 10:33 PM | #2 | ||||
The Rulers Back
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IP: 5510 817C
oh i liked this the ending was goood nice shit here man glad to see you back an doing big things for yourself an The Committee........
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12-23-04, 09:26 AM | #3 | ||||
.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: 3B54 8295
nice... i liked the story.. but i wasn't feeling all the vocab.. i think it sounded a little forced.. but it was still dope... 7/10
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12-23-04, 12:55 PM | #4 | ||||
yawn
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IP: CB2A 9D70
word, the vocab actually just flowed out. But it still sounds a bit forced i guess.. Thanks.
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12-24-04, 09:13 AM | #5 | ||||
.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: 3B54 8295
o yeah it flows.. good. but it seems like it used in area's where it shouldnt be..
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