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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
12-30-04, 12:51 AM
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#1
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Whys That?
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life of a lost soul(keystyle)
IP: 1330 23F3
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=169075
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=169034 life of a lost soul
(keystyle)*continuise single beeping noise* birth certificate through the warm walls of all he stall's stop ,cause he's entered sitting patientley imbilical cord wraped between placenta kicking let him out and he's diving head first write his name on a peice of paper and he's branded from birth his first breaths violently pacin' blurred visoin he's facin' heart on a crooked line through body incubation wrapped in blankets too tight, too cold, too light closed eyes first glimps, see his precense rise tonite child hood. Wake up in the morning, remember his habit my mother always tellin' him he has 2 take all his tablets strap protection to his head and everythings perfect pedals moving 360 degre's chain friction makes it all worth it $5 lasts a lifetime,times of satisfaction come cheap he want to run forever and never be going to sleep he's only aloud in the yard not aloud out the gate not knowing beyond, the whole wide world must be great he trust's his fate allway's wiping off the dust of hate life's lust is great, he want's to be older,but for now he must wait. Adolesence As he walk's through the gate every morning start's his journey main focus at this point in time, parents state is learning first times for everything, like THC thats burning he can go in any direction because nothing will stop left is tech, right is metal and straight ahead is hip hop may as well do what he can now because future might not be possible every friday at 2 oclock on the dot he's at the hospistal as he sit's mellow as the melody of a laughter tune when he's chillin' he sleep's until the early afternoon waking up cold and shaking from the drug's he consume's open his eye's,feeling doomed,he think's "what outcome is mine?" he's drinking allday, alcohol's tasting good,yet he doubt's rum is fine living life non-stop allway's testing life's capatabilty learning street rule's, growing a heart and having a mic ability growing of age,Now stowing his rage away because it's classed as extreme running the street's,wild child,bearly touching 18 young adult crime's are an everyday presence being told to get a job,but he dont wanna loose his esence he has lost all blessing's thru crime's and sin he has no recolection's of past time he win strange feeling's of defeat everyday,except the odd bag sold steady drinking alcoholic beverage's with a savage cant vision feeling's of upperclass, just feel average brain damage is nearly adamant but he cant admit a visit to a docter isnt an option, afraid of a test result goverment responsible for a few reason's he crazy,the rest his fault life is no longer looked apon as a privalidge adult. no kid's to call him dad,no wife to call him honey no food,no life all thru a lack of money he's thinking he's living right,yet he's anaware of the adventure's and lesson's he has missed out on growing up god must of put miss doubt on him he's lonley,lovless and allround lifeless on his way home,he think's were a sharp knife is he doesnt want to stay living a worthless life cant understand why he never had kid's and a perfect wife he deserve's this right to a house food and clean clothes but with him as quick as it come's,its as soon as the green goes. he wish's he had of made use of his mean flow's but now he's old and out of date a the youth so he lie's to himself just to fade out the truth. his final day's laying there on his death bed,breathing in tune with the beep feeling so empty, he's the only one in the room asleep no visitor's,no gift's or card everyone he knew,has just disregard no strive to stay breathing,want's his heart to just stop feeling's of anxiety fill his mind then thing's just pop with one long gasp for air he reache's toward's the sky damn, he allway's wished some one would be there when he died,. *long continuise beep* ~2kn~ Last edited by "fi-del" : 12-30-04 at 12:57 AM. |
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12-30-04, 01:48 AM
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#2
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Whys That?
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IP: B91D DBBD
any feed will be returned.
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12-30-04, 03:28 AM
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#3
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Whys That?
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IP: 6FF2 C222
feed back you lazy fucks
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12-30-04, 03:44 AM
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#4
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 5043 32F4
pretty good vocabulary was a decent drop....hmm your stucture was ight...coulda been better.....um this was a hot drop tho...keystyle or w/e its dope...i liked how you wrote lots i bet people dont even read that much lmao...but hell this was not a wasite of time i really felt this in my heat
 i liked this part of the verse..Adolesenceand the childhood part..this was straight tight... return the favour links in the sig.. |
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12-30-04, 03:51 AM
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#5
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New Jack
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IP: 0D28 B715
k i say..................you good, n nice concept
but< this could be way doper if it was audio/.........that said i shall wait for chapter 2...but it was a nice piece i think yoiu could do better if you shortened your lines a bit./ |
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12-30-04, 03:53 AM
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#6
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New Jack
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IP: 0D28 B715
Quote:
your a fag stop licken tc's nob bitch,... dont post on ish that has to do with tc ...! we hate you...! . your opinion is like osamas werd..! |
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12-30-04, 04:09 AM
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#7
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Bangs like bikini attol
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IP: 06B8 DBF2
Pretty good man I'm impressed.. Flow was a bit off in bits, but I generally could make it all rhyme properly.. Nice ish.
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12-30-04, 04:34 AM
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#8
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Yes you.
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IP: 6FF2 C222
wow i really like this, story line in it is so real.
good song fi-del. i might vote this for open mic of the month
__________________
Im A Throwback |
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12-30-04, 05:40 AM
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#9
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Whys That?
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IP: B91D DBBD
thnx for the feed, leave me a link and Ill return the favour.
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12-30-04, 05:50 AM
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#10
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Welcome 2 Dope South
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IP: 28AD 5545
yo I love tha structure...........Very good vocb......................................I like tha topic dat chu wrote on LIFE
keep spittin flames a good things will happen
__________________
  LINKS TO MY SONGS: http://www.soundclick.com/Car Shows...id=3438907&q=lo Tha Battle (Tech Skillz Diss 2) Tech Skillz Diss Fuk Tha Rules |
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12-30-04, 10:17 AM
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#11
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Light Weight
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IP: 1CF2 6A32
fareal dat was hot keepin droppin
9/10 real good homie
__________________
The Strong Walk Silent |
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12-30-04, 10:21 AM
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#12
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Bow Chicka Bow Wow
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IP: FEFC E273
aight this was a dope concept .............and was carried out nicely.........vocab and structure were there.....i thought ya flow was off in like one or two spots but whateva....tha birth certificate part reminded me of nas-fetus ............lol.............overall nice drop fam
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12-30-04, 11:51 AM
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#13
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tha tightest thang in RV since Hang-man's rope*cough pussy hole*
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IP: 2EF7 A767
I gotta say I was feelin dis, tha whole thang tha concept tha flow n all...10/10 keep doin ya thang dawg.1.
__________________
 - this could be you. if you have ever witnessed or experienced unwilling intercourse with a Zoo animal please call 1-800-CARNIVAL-BIATCH extention:BUTT RAPEAll Out Warfare open mic me vs. magical |
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12-30-04, 04:52 PM
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#14
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Whys That?
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IP: B91D DBBD
thanks for the feed,upping for more.
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12-30-04, 07:28 PM
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#15
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DA Dictionary
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
diss was pretty good like da whole
concept behind it nice vocab and it had a koo flow 8/10
__________________
PHP Code:
 OPEN BATTLES WORDPLAYA VS Word-Scape |
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