Streets is filled with kids who spittin written skilled hits,
Mumbled words is bullshit, vested for wars wit full clips,
Blocks crowded with fake gangsters who be acting foolish
Selling the death of the hood these funny posing hoodlems

Neighborhoods across America and the around entire globe
Feel the authentic vibe of emcees whos only jobs to expose
Pimps from hoes, envision analogies for the professionals
To take you to the next level is my one and only goal

Its silly how, e’erybody wanna be a thug and selling drugs
Is just a hobby nowadays, everyone serves around the way
Even my gardener has the hook up for some sticky Bombay
This is the wrong way, so I think its time we pull the plug

Lets cut the rich-bitch-shit and take it back to the notepad
The pen was ya voice, no one hunted the net uppin they vocab
Sorry little Timmy but ya rhymes aint ill, it takes street skills
To cause the crowd to just feel, every syllable that you drill

This is the real, touch any part of it and I can promise that I will
Take it to the studio or to the park, torture in daylight bury in the dark
Battle cats got no chance when the beef is getting sparked
I flip like Jackie Chan flicks and always bite before I bark

Im not hood, but my pedigree is pure, hiphop in me? Im sure
Putting to bed all the children on this board, the contents to raw
For parents to let them absorb anymore info than they ever saw
Im a writer by nature but for paper a ghetto reporter for the poor



Please post comments and let me know what you think... critiques MAAAADDDDDLLLYY Appreciated.


One Love...

-Stucks

Sup MR eS??
Its been a minute since i've seen you post anything...I thought this piece was really tight..You were on point with every stanza and every message you proposed to get across in each..

Some lines i really liked were:

>Is just a hobby nowadays, everyone serves around the way
Even my gardener has the hook up for some sticky Bombay

>Lets cut the rich-bitch-shit and take it back to the notepad
The pen was ya voice, no one hunted the net uppin they vocab

haha..i really liked the whole last 2 stanzas too..shit, the whole thing was nice..rhyme scheme was unique but it worked for ya..flow was on point with the multi's n all..all around nice drop..feelin it..stay up n keep blessin us.
peace.

flow was nice but ya vocab just needed to be elevated a bit cos it was proper simple. i was feelin ya on the topic but ya never really took fool advantage. i wrote a couple o pieces on this subject (the many faces of status) anyway check mine ninja philosophy

appreciate the comments... thanks kmfrob for noticing the the vocab... i feel that... but on the same token, i feel that if this was like on a track... it could be understood... many faces could feel it..if i take it to some next level with the vocab.. which can be done in a re-write, then id be appealing to the "underground masses"... you know, maybe it might be a good idea to write the same piece in an "underground format" .... well see...

i liked the concept of the song, the flow of the piece kept me interested, wordplay took the place of medial vocab but hey vocab isnt erthing, overall nice post...1

nice peice too simple though

100 WATTZ....SHITTY REPLY BUDDY.... YOU SUCK! YOU FREEPOSTING FAGGOT.

OK, NOW... HOPING FOR SOME MORE REAL COMMENTS.

on this piece you did a good job at staying on point ......
i was feelin the topic and the flow really kept my attention...
just like cuz said vocab isnt everything (although it does help a lot)....
overall though it was a nice drop...
I see what you mean, it would be hottness in audio...
shit you peep my last couple drops down and out and that concience.....
especially that concience.....you wont be dissipointed

peace out....

This is nice, a well explored and developed concept... Good ideas that come across and you pushed your points... The rhyme scheme was sturdy, some more internal rhymes coulda sharpened up your sometimes choppiness... Nice wordplay, thats what stood out for me, some lines were well incorporated with metaphors and similes... Liked that, that helped with the powerful lines... Yeh vocab does need to be upped slightly, I liked it though, you kept a good balance... Keep spitting and elevating...

Peez...

Ayo, i dont got big ass words to critique your shit. Like these other cats. I am gonna tell you straight up, im feelin it. Its HOT. Important topic. I think you ment it as a poem so thats how i read it. So im feelin' the originality. Keep doin' your thing.

the comments are being appreciated...

now a couple days after the "ego" calms down.. i see the flaws in this piece. i really would appreciate more critiques.


one.

up up and away