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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-03-05, 02:26 PM
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#1
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New to RV
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No way.
IP: E499 D7BF
No way out...Why do this...why?.... No room to cry...No room to cry.... Vocals crushed, no capacity..to lie. No company...Too lonely to even die. Jacket torn, I force my bloody hands, to feel for aid. None there, mind spare, fragments of fighting,glare. I find in my back pocket tissue,a sigh of relief is at hand. To wipe away my tears, and to base upon..........a plan.. Hands not much use though, fingers stained with blood. Mags along with water flasks, dragged through foreign mud. Reputation tarnished, boots worn, heroism on this occasion failed to born. As fellow riders of our cause, the one we were fighting for, mutilated & torn. I want to reach out, but the ruthless bastards stamped on my windpipe. In their eyes I deserved it, but emotional pain, they will never feel like. Destroy them, orders issued by the superior, common weapons handed out. Moments of inspiration aroused, quotes were distributed with weak shouts. Whats this all about?..A hidden cause shadowing the real cause for conflict. No way out..No way out..Cant get out, I scratch my name on the walls. Are there even any?...Barriers of my mind bend and shatter my eyes images. Brain intelligende drooling, no temptation to rhyme. But, music, still there. This torture, I aint bullshitting, Its....Its just not fair.... Relate to this, as I recognize these stresses of life. End The Skip Of Heartbeat The end of my life. |
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02-03-05, 02:54 PM
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#2
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New to RV
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IP: 10E3 79E5
i like this.. u have a different flow then most ppl which is definitly a plus, (no one wants to be the same).. your vocab was ok..
nd this was prolly my favorite line: Reputation tarnished, boots worn, heroism on this occasion failed to born. As fellow riders of our cause, the one we were fighting for, mutilated & torn. you could work on your structure a little more.. but over all id give you a 7.5/10 keep up the work.. love to see more |
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02-03-05, 03:21 PM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP: E499 D7BF
Thanks for the feedback.
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