Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-04-05, 01:41 PM | #1 | |||||||
Flyweight
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Freestyle (feedback) ?
IP: 2AF4 5C39
Mabey my intenshions are good but some of tha shit i say i take it to heart
an rather die in my own blood , Ive gritted my teeth an held my head down like i never had somethin to say like i do now , is it tha way i wasnt razed never knew i had a cousin who died for changing his ways....ya know There use to be time when i was never confused bout how id listenin in to rhyme's like it had a history behind it in every line, there's always gonna be soilders on tha front line, rememmbre that cuz we choose tha path we walk or ya fall behind dont let yourself fall apart.....instead of pressin play you can push rewind start over agian an say whats on ya mind. short piece but aint got time ta sit here all day an rhyme give a little feed back this just a quick freestyle uppin for feedback it will be returned CB83
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02-04-05, 03:58 PM | #2 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: 8A9C ABD6
use // at the end of your rhymes to make it easier to catch the flow other then that it was straight.
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02-04-05, 04:11 PM | #3 | |||
As Seen On T.V.
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IP: 5867 FD83
need some imagery, could use some sort of base, so us readers are aware of what topic your forming, and what point your trying to get across. just some peer review, positive criticism. good luck in the future.
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quote your own damn lyrics...
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