When im lean, im lenient, when im not- yull end up wit yur spleen on da pavement
I take yur mum, and introduce her to my kind of enslavement,
Wash my dishes, clean my floors-when yur done, get back in da cage with da rest o’ da whores.
I got a bredjrin down south dat grows supanatural skunk-
Feel dem brain cells explode evry time u take a toke, hold it in 1, 2 , 3, 4- guaranteed 2 choke, no matta how much u smoke.
I got a yank cousin, every line is shizzle my nizzle, fuck dat shit, I spit a line onto blocks of ice, and still they sizzle. il Put yur bitches hair in a frizzle- just from a glance, get 2 da club and feel da beat pumpin, just cant help it, an I start 2 dance.
Dis world is full of cans and cants, dos and donts, writes and wrongs, I just wanna smoke 2 zoot go home and write some songs.

Im sick of dese niggas, ‘I can bench press dis and bench press dat’,
Well I can bench press yur mum and jack yur hat.
Ive tried everything I was ever gonna try, I wont name em, in case my parents get their hands on dis line. I fuckin hate puberty, every time im on road im just tryna find shines. When I get 2 da club, I feel like billy bob In a gold mine.
Everything pisses me off, no I don’t need no technical support, but I wouldn’t mind some financial, I feel like I should be doing something substantial, I don’t wanna be in my 30s, living off the council. Fuck da government. I just thought id say dat, boydem always around when yur jackin, but neva when u get jacked. I don’t wanna get a job, cos I cant handle da shame of getting sacked. Always askin da same question, always getting da same answer, what is it dat I lack? Money, dollar, more than just a couple of jacks. Im no where near poor, its just da plain and simple fact dat I always want more. I wanna go to college. Do something with my life, cos If I dont, I can just imagine myself tryna rob boots with a pair of my mums tights and a Stanley knife.
2 b cont...

Boots=British Chemists firm.

feed appreciated

no feed? cmon feedback wantd an' appreciatd.

first of all you need to work on your structure and flow coz that was way off.....your structure should be in lines like this
hfghofgoh gkanglkf sdkgdf
dfsgkfak fdhkdlkh hfkdj'khg
instead of written as a dialogue because it makes it much easier to read and flows better when its structured correctly.you could also up your vocab a lil bit come more complex....keep elevatin 5/10

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