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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-21-05, 08:00 PM
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#1
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True Meaning Of Love[-Part One-]
IP: 93C0 D1DD
Opener Could This Be It, Have I Found The Right Love?, A Girl With A Heart That's As Pure A White Dove Sent From Above, A Girl With The Right Touch?, I Try So Hard,But Around Her I Can't Act Tough Somebody Please Tell Me Can This Be Right Love? Body I Close My Eyes, & Relize It's Her I Want To Hold, 'Til We Grow Old, And Untill The End Of The Road, I Want To Dry Her Eye's When She Tears From It We'll Stay Together Untill The Boat Starts To Drift I Need You Girl, Like Old Folks Need Oxy Machines Take A Walk With Me And Tell Me All Your Dreams Closer If Ever You Shall Cry I'll Be Here To Make You Smile I'm Hoping You Feel The Same And I'm Worth While I've Finaly Found A Girl Who Loves Me Deep Within As We Dance In Romance Listening To The Rhythm . . . . Just Some Thing I Have To Put Down From Previous Relationship, Naw I'm Saying Critique It Please No Hate
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02-21-05, 08:05 PM
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#2
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Seattle Hat Wit A Lean
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IP: 2B9D 28F8
welll....
i thought it was aight.... pretty good for one of your first few.... i think you couldve put a lil more emotion into it... its obvious that theres some, but i think that there couldve been more, especially on such an emotional topic.... but i thought it was good for the most part... keep workin on it though, it could be a good lead to something....
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 --------------------------- Lucky Boy Beats: Owner & Producer http://www.myspace.com/luckyboybeats ---------------------------------------------- Gunn Play: Rv's Original Duo Dash Canceling To A Computer Near You MAS ON EM! 4 LIFE |
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02-21-05, 08:06 PM
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#3
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Alright Cool, Good Looking
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02-21-05, 08:10 PM
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#4
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This is my first post!
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IP: BE76 C3EB
Aight poetry is a bit new to me, but I felt like this was heartfelt, but some lines were kinda unoriginal. Ex: Dove. You had some humor in it which was good, poetry is too serious sometimes. Overall I like this piece, but try some more original lines and maybe a bit longer. Good piece
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02-21-05, 08:11 PM
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#5
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Thank You, Upping This
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02-22-05, 10:30 AM
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#6
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: A3EA 639E
that was good 4 ur 1st poetry entry i liked it u will elevate in ur wordplay in the poetry as time goes on but keep up the great work fam
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02-22-05, 04:00 PM
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#7
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Fo Sho, Upping This......
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02-23-05, 11:14 PM
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#8
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Go Ahead Envy Me
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Bump Bump Bump.......
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03-06-05, 11:36 PM
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#9
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Upping This Bish
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03-18-05, 11:38 PM
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#10
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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