The Most Dangerous Disease


Once it touches any skin, it can destroy the person within a split second.
This very contagious disease, can only be transferred from person to person,
It has already murdered hundreds of millions of people and still counting,
Sadly, even our heroes, rappers, singers, even many of our police man has been infected,
Sadly, all of them know that they are, but seem to not do anything about it.

This disease is held by many, and for those that has used this disease, I pity them,
For they know what it can do,
And for many of them that know,
This disease gives them more power then God.

This disease can control a person to do anything,
It can take a person’s legs or arm off,
At times, even both.

This disease when held allows a man to rape,
This disease when held is said to do good,
But can only do one thing,
Kill.

This disease has been given many names,
And can travel half a mile in one second,
But for this disease,
There is always going to be one official name,
Not one letter, not two, but three,

G-U-N.

-Dabatos

Featured for a week,good job~Fluid

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yo this was pretty cool, i liked how you portrayed guns as a disease that was pretty creative. this was a pretty good drop. i liked it

Thanx man.. upping for more

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def feel'n this i liked ya vocab.. it was a tricky sorta drop but i liked it alot.. keep em com'n ..

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Â-balam balam i treat yall like cans of spam

Free Time...

I Live the Lifestyle You Want to Live

Secret Society/Cut Throat

i kinda liked this..but it wasn't anything great in my oppinion...the whole disease was a metaphor...but you had no metaphors within the piece...and that makes imagery really difficult...and imagery is the most important thing in expressing something...also...too straight forward for me...THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH STRAIGHT FORWARD...i just prefer poetry that you really have to pay attention to, challenging poetry that forces me to think about whats being said and why it's being said..but over all..this was good poetry...nice work

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Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.

"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox

The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew

yea.. i really wasn't trying to do anything great in there.. i just wrote it in economics after i took a test because i had nothing else better to do.

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Nice. I liked this piece. Very creative and your structure was pretty. lol.
ood job in wording and Everything seemed in place. Keep em coming holmes.

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Back.....

yea a very interesting piece but like in-vision said i have 2 agree there isn't ne imagery & i like the in-depth & elaboration in poems 2 sho off ur poetistic ability but neway vocab was nice...structure was good...& i like how u portrayed a gun as a deadly disease werd make sure 2 return the favor in my poem: Wanna Change My Life??

I appreciate the feedback.. i'll leave feedback on ur poems asap.. thanx

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more feed back on the poem plz

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This was nice I like how it portrayed shit real nice..

thanxman^^

hey? why did my poem get sticked? lol thats cool!

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ok dont know who this got stickey personal its not good its mediocre to say the least why i will explain.....................
the freeverse form is done only for one reason and one reason only and that is to give yourself the abilty to use more emotion outside the boundarys of ending words that have a rhyme to them now you failed to do this.you used the freeverse fomr but failed to really bring any emotion at all accross to your words also a weak vocabalry hurt you as well.the topic is good and could have been done much better the ending was good cuz it was unexpected by myself as well as by most others which is good that makes people wanna read your work surprises are good in poetry it keeps the personas intrest in your work but you also have to make a more solid piece.basically use better vocab more emotion is also most imposrtant and dont be so straight forward in poetry that is never good regardless to what anyone may tell you poetry is meant to tantalize the soul and be evasive to the mind to make people think not too hard but just enough to stimulate them.this is ok not trash but far but neither good nor great neither you have potential sun just work on what i say only practice can make a great poet.......

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you got featured for your continued growth as a poet, you are definately most improved..keep it up..1

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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"

O Y D

*FluidMusic*


*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*