|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
03-30-05, 08:07 PM
|
#1
|
|||
|
Banned: Cheating
|
Journey to the abyss: A mans tale of inosence
IP: 3CAE 6243
Journey To The Abyss: A mans tale of innocence… When does love turn to hate? When does devastation turn to fate? Has destiny slipped?
This pain I am forced to endure, hate may break through the crevices of love My banishment from paradise, marks the peak of my shame, as I fall with wings clipped Crashing to the ground, I lay face to face with the abyss, is there no remorse from above? “Is this it?” I whispered aloud to the councilmen, the reply was, as I had feared My strive for power, my unquenchable thirst for control has led to my demise These tears from my eyes, this blood that I shed, I lay here with my heart speared The shame of defeat, my Lord I beseech thee, I have lived a life of lies “Get up!” the guardians shout, and raise me to my feet, I remain battered by sorrow I stand now upon the ledge of my doom, my life shattered to pieces, oh why could I not have been tamed? I never deserved this life I lived, I shall enter the abyss, and hope I may not be forced to live tomorrow Falling through this place of dark, I realize I must spend the rest of eternity, entrapped in my own shame Why has thy father, who claimed to love me so, given me such a cruel fate? My creator, who told me he would embrace me in his arms, no matter what I’ve done This God, who claims to be perfection, has punished me with hate. Have I been betrayed? Did he predict this from my birth? Could it be? That he lied to his most beloved son? If he is, what he claims to be, then why was I created imperfect? With this lust for control Could he not have foreseen the events to come? Could he not have altered my destiny? Could he not have changed me, and helped his son from a grieving life of sorrow? Or could it be, that he is not flawless, that he too has imperfections like me? Have I encountered the real truth? Should he not be punished for his imperfections to? Should he not be forced to grieve, for what he has done to me? I shall make him pay! My heart has welcomed hate, my mind has invited rage, I shall slay this lord who is oh so cruel An army I’ll conjure, from heaven to earth, and I’ll become the new Lord to whom you pray! The fallen angels of light, shall bear witness to the truth, I will make sure that his blood drips I will end this so called paradise, the dead shall be my army, Armageddon will occur, we shall slay those above When does love turn to hate? When does devastation turn to fate? Has destiny slipped? This pain I am forced to endure, hate may break through the crevices of love… and incase you didn't realise it, this is the story of Lucifer when he tried to overthrow god...,Ya well structure is off, kinda fucked up with the poetic meter, lines were too long for a " A - B - A - B" style Last edited by ~Genius~ : 04-05-05 at 08:05 PM. |
|||
|
|
03-30-05, 08:31 PM
|
#2
|
||||
|
IP: 0AE0 3B1A
I need one Link please
__________________
The Competition
 |
||||
 
|
|
|
03-30-05, 08:39 PM
|
#3
|
|||
|
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 3CAE 6243
You'll get the link soon enough
 |
|||
|
|
|
03-30-05, 09:01 PM
|
#4
|
|||
|
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 3CAE 6243
|
|||
|
|
|
03-30-05, 11:09 PM
|
#5
|
|||
|
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 3CAE 6243
upping this yo... gimme feed hoe cakes
|
|||
|
|
|
03-31-05, 07:50 AM
|
#6
|
||||||
|
FiVe SoUrCe CeO
|
IP: 28BD 9D87
I got the impression that u sat down with a dictionary and tried to be fancy...
good vocab nonetheless good references...but, this piece lacked a true plot...or direction...it just rambled on nice deep lyrics within not bad 1 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=184360 ^^^Return the favor please! |
||||||
|
|
|
|
03-31-05, 09:41 PM
|
#7
|
|||
|
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 3CAE 6243
favor will be ruturned soon
|
|||
|
|
|
04-01-05, 01:57 AM
|
#8
|
||||
|
IP: 0825 899A
This was a dope piece...
Really liked it alot... It had lots of emotions... Lots of feeling... Structure was off...that the only thing you have to work on Other then that it was a good drop.. Nice wordplay... and vocab.. Keep it up hope to see another drop from you . 8/10
__________________
The Competition
|
||||
|
|
|
|
04-01-05, 07:06 PM
|
#9
|
|||
|
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 3CAE 6243
Ya well structure is off, cuz I didnt write it for RV, I had this on my computer I keyed it for english class, thought i'd drop on here, on paper it doesn't come out like that, the structure is normal printed...
|
|||
|
|
|
04-01-05, 07:41 PM
|
#10
|
||||
|
R.I.P
|
IP: 3CAE 6243
Dope fucking piece man!!!
__________________
|
||||
|
|
|
04-01-05, 08:53 PM
|
#11
|
|||
|
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 3CAE 6243
more feed, stfu jack
 |
|||
|
|
|
04-03-05, 07:44 PM
|
#12
|
|||
|
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 3CAE 6243
gimme feed bitches...
|
|||
|
|
|
04-05-05, 07:48 PM
|
#13
|
|||
|
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 3CAE 6243
more feed yo wtf???
 |
|||
|
|
|
04-05-05, 08:03 PM
|
#14
|
||||
|
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 3CAE 6243
Quote:
Rofl... no I don't need to use a dictionary, I read a lot, I have a good vocab  and their was a plot, = what Lucifer was thinking when he was being condemed to a shamefull fate of blazing inferno's  |
||||
|
|
|
04-06-05, 07:27 PM
|
#15
|
||||||
|
FiVe SoUrCe CeO
|
IP: 1ADC A69C
I can tell u don't do audio...LOL...I'd love to hear u hit the snare with these long lines...but they are well written
good message and concept... everything was good... However, this would be doper with more multies... not bad homie 1 |
||||||
|
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
