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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
04-01-05, 12:26 AM
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#1
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Banned: Biting
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Karma Pt. 1
IP: 3240 794D
*Radio Announcer*
Again another shootin occurs leavin Tyriq Ahmid killed in a cross-fire of local gang 'wars' over turf and drugs. He was shot at 113th and Crenshaw, and he was a man of a family of three. *Voice* An innocent man walks the street in despondencies and he walks livin life full of reluctancies but it was not time for him to go - what happened the last memories he will see in heaven - is the glocks clappin Why the last painful memories hittin home with the bullets sprayin red on his dome Life is painful down here in Compton a person makin it out and hittin life big does not occur often But the killer(s) will face redemption -bein linked to three other homicides when his judgement comes, G-d will make him suffer wit pesticides This son will try to have the best lawyers and allabis but he puts the front - claimin he knows none of the lies but eventually he will be hittin and spendin time in the pen sufferin more slowly then the normal peeps in the lions den I am the Voodoo Lyricist and i rhyme the truths and controversies and lettin peeps see the harshness of the streets, from bicentenials and anniversaries the killer will walk off empty-handed breathin the fresh air often these are the harsh realities of Compton but again G-d will avenge the soul of this heartless man shootin peeps apart wit a 44 because his pride and clique was damaged - damn what a dumb reason to fall and get buried six feet deep but he will eventually walk through those pearly gates and leap from joy knowin he in G-d's kingdom ring while His killer will be facin the heat of more then a sting *(Radio announcer breaks in )* What goes around comes around my friends ppl who kill in the name of color will all come to an end *(Beat Starts back)* Only time will tell the pains hittin the soul of the deepest when the grim reaper comes and harvests and reaps the souls of the killers and sinners wit no heart of repentence and spend their life killin and hittin the substance *(radio announcer)* Sufferin slowly hits the soul of a man deep low spittin the truth is my only goal Open your eyes and please see - WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND Its KArma Bitchez ----------------------------------------------------------------------------  Leave Feed and the favor will be Return'd *PS* Im lookn for a collab for part two And Im Lookin for A Partner for the Teag Team Tourny |
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04-01-05, 12:45 AM
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#2
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Banned: Biting
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IP: 3240 794D
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04-01-05, 01:43 AM
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#3
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IP: 0825 899A
Hmm.. this was an okay drop
... could have been alot better.. Structure was really off... Try to line of your bars.. you had lots of feeling in this drop.. that was kool Overall it was a decent drop i feel it could have been better, lines were alittle to simple for me , some lines were just plain weak and werent very worded well overall keep it up and elevate more 6.5/10
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The Competition
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04-01-05, 01:14 PM
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#4
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Banned: Biting
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IP: 3240 794D
Thanx Mayne Thats All I ask for Was Honest feed
Thanx Uppin |
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04-01-05, 01:18 PM
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#5
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New to RV
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IP: E3C9 F7CB
topic and content was nice..your concepts were nice but structure and rhyme scheme were off..your vocabulary seemed forced..its nothing of serious problems tho, you have potential and im sure if you keep working you`ll develop the what your lacking..try counting your syllables and dont let them go too far apart..for instance you dont want one line having 20 syllables then the next only having 8..
return the favor.. http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=184554 Pz. and Quote:
im always down for a collab..
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Last edited by Origin : 04-01-05 at 02:11 PM. |
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