Story To Tell

Got a bold plot like a hole or slot its deep my mother and I
Discover why there a judgment day when machines cover the sky
Pure legit a secure fit how we stopped revelation in the bible
Through elevation as disciples of the terminator a task vital
To survival of the arrival of a future robot almost suicidal
But still stuck with dream so extreme about machines societal
Danger in the midst, ride a Honda from place to place so deft
Scared to face myself, one day while cruising and using stealth
Speed driving fast, a deer bought fear to me had to swerve around
A curve annoyed trying to avoid a collision with a doe skid on the ground
My cycle bent with dents and wrecked but the deer escaped unhurt
Call this a breakaway feature great for the creature but I ate dirt
Was hurt needed to kill the pain the thrill was lame cripple
A little walked around and found a veterinary clinic in the middle
Of town bout a little frown to my face gave it a hardcore knock
Oh shit the door locked I broke in had hope to begin to stop
The pain took neuter pills saw a computer filled with information
Stood within a nation of pet animal and some wet mammals devastation
Took my brain feeling the drug yet revealing a love for puppy dogs
And muddy hogs

that waz nice styll, It HaD that kiNd of mAtriX feeling, i liked it.

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=192290 return the favour and Send me sum feed back

__________________

Join The Dynasty Today

PEEPED THIS HERE'S ;MY LINK http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=192301

stable minds like table wines// get drunk off wet funk// so pass a glass and some grass fast // go ride and provide// wheels for dame reveals game// on hubcaps with love rap and thug crap// roll on dubs bold to clubs//

I see you mainly focussed on the sound expression and the multis in this piece and kinda let the story itself disappear on the background. It's not a real emotional or imagery piece, just a flowbomb. Flow was real good due to the similar sound expressions, vocab was good as well as your structure. I don't see much of a story though, I mean I think I kinda do but it's confusing lol...

Good work on them multis though...

__________________

Drama Queen thanks for the props but the story remained intact for real

^I'ma have to re-read it then

__________________

Nice.... I liked it.