RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 05-26-05, 10:26 AM   #16
Ma$fit
Cus I Jus Ma$fit Dis Shit
 
Ma$fit's Avatar
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2005
From: DETROIT IN DIS BITCH!!!
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-1
IP: 964F D870

real talk...dis is hotness wrapped in a rap...structure, imagery was on point...really felt every line, and could relate to sum...dis is dopeness at a peak dat i havent even seen from neither of u...and Att, when u get a nice deep topic in mind, PM me, cuz im not dat good thinkin bout topics...we gotz ta collab kid...9/10...real talk
__________________

Ma$fit
Send a message via AIM to Ma$fit   Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-05, 03:52 PM   #17
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
Joined: Jan 2005
From: Adanac
Status: Offline
Graphics Record: 1-0
IP: 9E2F CDE8

*rolls in with a wicked beat pounding*

this was awesome, seriously......i read it 3 times over, wordness, seemed like this was a difficult topic to write on, well seeing how you two both came out, ever so subtle explainging your insecurities, but managed to explode with emotion and everything, haha

i think i liked your second verse the most atticus, but i read the first one over, and it was still really good, your style is pretty complex, but yet at the same time, works very effectively with how you portray your topics....if that makes sense, word.....emotion was kickin' in this man, great write man, really feeling it

word to OSB, little different approach than usual eh, but it worked nicely...good message, nice flow, great emotion, you really hit the nail on this one man, definately write more, nah sayin?

big props to both here, this was a killer OM, keep up to both fo-sho
__________________



this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish



FLY FREE
Send a message via AIM to Germ Send a message via MSN to Germ   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-05, 04:04 PM   #18
XquizitLyricist
New to RV
 
Posts: 8
Joined: May 2005
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 28AD 5545

a yo now i see i jumped o nthe right team here vocab was there and shit deffintly running this this the post of the day right ere young bankz out holla fam stay up continue dropping that fire and ill be ther with chu holla
__________________

  Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-05, 04:31 PM   #19
UNF
This is my first post!
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Status: Offline
IP: 2029 97B3

Wow Nice Shit Best open Mic I Seen Since I've Bin Back, Vocabulary Was Good In Here Both Came With Fucking Nice Structure Creative Shit Here, This Should Be A HOF Man Good Shit Yo I Liked The Concept Of This Piece Good Topic
__________________
Um T.T.I
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-05, 05:06 PM   #20
N0$FeRaTu
New to RV
 
N0$FeRaTu's Avatar
 
Posts: 10
Joined: May 2005
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: B25F 477A

This piece was good, I liked the topic & I feel you portrayed it well here. Vocabulary seemed on-point. Structure made it hard to follow but it was still good. You both had different approach's which was a good thing. Keep dropping.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-05, 05:13 PM   #21
Young Montana
"Fuck Wit Me, Then You Fuckin Wit Tha Best"
 
Young Montana's Avatar
 
Posts: 444
Joined: Jan 2005
From: B-More
Status: Offline
IP: 4AEF ACBD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drama Queen
Nice concept you worked with here, don't think I have seen it being used before on RV. ...


i agree, good shit yall......keep that shit up.....structure was iiight...good use of vocab keep that up..yall flow was good on it and i think yall should collab more often. good shit yall
__________________
Young Montana

"No More Mista Nice Guy"





Rapdemon: fuck man
DaFutureJoka: wa?
Rapdemon: u=dope
DaFutureJoka: lol
Rapdemon: im goin thru ur whole soundclick
DaFutureJoka: thanks?
Rapdemon: haha
PSA
Send a message via AIM to Young Montana   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-05, 06:41 PM   #22
schema
howdy
 
schema's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,962
Joined: Jul 2004
From: SC
Status: Offline
Text Record: 27-10
IP: 892E 81E1

[[Verse One: Atticus]]
Cold... So Self Aware Nearly Swelled With Null
Pain There Remains No Clearly Well, Hell All Fates Fallin Dull.
^I have no idea what this means
Full With Great Opportunities Dropped Late Pages Erased
Scribbled Blank Classics Seem Lacluster, To Muster Greatness
^kinda fillery but not too bad...
Deems Its Placement As This Obsene Dream... Lavish Covers
Tucked Under-Over Realities Blacklist At The Back Misunder-
Stood Youth Doomed By "Could Do's", Never Dones Continue To Run
Through A Life Of Light Blind To Strive With Eyes Fused Up.
^I have no idea what this means
As I Search For Comfort... Last Resort To Sore Is Some Form
More Or Less More Less Than More Yet The Love Makes This One A Whore.
Hunt For The Touch Of Anyone One That Can Form The Sence
Of Sudden Abundance... Fuck Me! Free Me From Poor Judgments!
this is too much for me...im like on multi overload...and i really dont understand what you mean by any of this...maybe im just stupid or maybe it doesnt make any sense

[[Chorus x2]]
Inpurity, How Pure They See...
Please Let Them See Me Bleed For Acceptance
Cuz My Wrists Slit And... I Think I Saw A Smile Seep
Against His Lips, "DAMN!"... Quick Razor Rip And Dance
To Please My Little Insecurities Rants.

[[Verse Two: OneStepBeyond]]
My insecurities are endless, life with dozens of twists,
Running from myself... and my purity, it doesn't exsist,
werd...
Attached mentally to my girl in which I struggle to fix,
I always fall One Step short, now failures strung in the mix,
Can't juggle the shits, so the pressure on my shoulder builds,
Yet to have soul instilled... still showing colder shrills,
youre reachin for multis with the showing colder shrills but i was feelin these two bars as a whole...i can understand what youre talking about and the feel is pretty cool...
Sposed to be a souljah, losing prides giving me colder chills,
Bottle up my firing emotions and when the molten builds,
One day they explode, flaming, burning, igniting the fuse,
fighting the fueds within myself, i'm frightened to choose,
real nice right here
Wether to change my life, but I descent still to badness,
The ability to do so is there... but my will is absent...
werd...this capped shit off...really nice stuff here...

[[Chorus x2]]
Inpurity, How Pure They See...
Please Let Them See Me Bleed For Acceptance
Cuz My Wrists Slit And... I Think I Saw A Smile Seep
Against His Lips, "DAMN!"... Quick Razor Rip And Dance
To Please My Little Insecurities Rants.

[[Verse Three: Atticus]]
Drift Through Days In Haze Of Blur Blue Shades Asume
A Tune That Drones Quick In Flash... Come To Play A Few
Hours Past... Waste Away The Class My Last Grade
A Fail Stale Brained... Maine's Influence Henced That Blaze
Of Smoke, Clouds Dround Out The Sounds Of Hope
Beyond The Pond Of Poison Possitioned In This Frown Of Rope.
The Drugs My Freedom Fiefdom Of Peace Piece Of Mind
Just Dug Its Grave-Lay-Pray One Day The Gates Free A Bind.
Now The Highs Familiar Still Your Frown Finds Out How
To Renounce This Drugs Feel Your Fucked, So You Cut Down To Cut... "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!"
pretty nice...i understand this more than the last one but still not totally...you should work on making more verses like this...not just like drifting off into nonsensical flowery language like the first verse...

hit up my gfx battle with hattrick... http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=192021
__________________




"Frank White the menacin, chron chron's the medicine....
I got the lettuce and...
...you turn green like cucumber skin
Got the new hummer in the summer when I was a new comer then...
drugs and mac-10's...hugs from fake friends..."


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Dog
i'm not attracted to women...
Send a message via AIM to schema   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-05, 06:41 PM   #23
.:F.ate:.
ready 4 wuteva
 
.:F.ate:.'s Avatar
 
Posts: 344
Joined: Jan 2005
From: da 704
Status: Offline
Text Record: 1-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: D42D 8FF9

this shit's moving. it's a very complex, deep type subject. almost like an extended metaphor of life's ups and downs. i really enjoyed reading this. ya'll seem to have great chemistry workin 2getha. this almost shouldn't even be considered rap, it seems more like insightful poetry. i give it 5/5 mics up...rtf......1
__________________
do i need a fuckin sig?
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-05, 06:50 PM   #24
datopprospect
Light Weight
 
datopprospect's Avatar
 
Posts: 202
Joined: Apr 2005
From: J-Ville, NC
Status: Offline
Text Record: 1-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 6187 5CD4

Yo, i'ma tell u like this. I dun usually read long drops from niggas, but yours actually kept my interest. The wordplay in Atticus verses was very good. I've yet 2 seen any good wordplay on this site until i read that. And OSB was mad serious. I felt the punches in that and everything flowed so good. The chourus i didn't get until i read it a few times but an overal good chourus 2. I was really feelin that tho. Good job @ both of you guys. Keep that up, i wish i could read more good drops like that. EZ
__________________
Joe Rams AKA tha nigga
Send a message via AIM to datopprospect Send a message via MSN to datopprospect Send a message via Yahoo to datopprospect   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-05, 06:51 PM   #25
Ysdat
Whys That?
 
Posts: 2,007
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 11-0
Audio Record: 2-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 5285 DC82

yo this is hott

both a you dropped solid....not one stands out from the other...this is one a thos collabs that without the other person it wouldnt be as dope! So you both worked in with each other well on this
structures are good.flow is good..entire drop is a good read...
RTF!
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-05, 07:29 PM   #26
Sweft
Light Weight
 
Posts: 308
Joined: Apr 2005
From: America
Status: Offline
IP: 82F4 D097

Hey I liked this one it was cool. I didn't understand this line though...
"To Please My Little Insecurities Rants." The Rants.. I dont know what your trying to say..

Now Atticus
"Cold... So Self Aware Nearly Swelled With Null
Pain There Remains No Clearly Well, Hell All Fates Fallin Dull."
Your maltis was good but you need to work way more on your vocab.. I really do like your style and will want to work with you sometime.. My fav line from you was..
"Tucked Under-Over Realities Blacklist At The Back Misunder-
Stood Youth Doomed By "Could Do's", Never Dones Continue To Run"
Wow word play was sick and made me think about my life. But Im stuck by just doing and don't think. Im hella sparadic.

OneStepBehind..
I really got caught into your verse.. I love how you started off..
"My insecurities are endless, life with dozens of twists,
Running from myself... and my purity, it doesn't exsist,
Attached mentally to my girl in which I struggle to fix,
I always fall One Step short, now failures strung in the mix,"
But as I said you need to work on vocalb, The word play was nice in here I liked how you added your name by an action.. really nice.
Honestly structure was dope by both of you.. good colab and worth the read.. to be honest I want to work with both of you...
Ah, and if you wanna return the favor just hit up "psst" or "WHAT! ask me why im in TC!"
Overall this was like, hmm 7.989/10 (LoL)

Sweft
__________________
<img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/tc46tg.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> <BR>
<img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/joseph7qs.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
Send a message via AIM to Sweft Send a message via Yahoo to Sweft   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-05, 10:04 PM   #27
Sweft
Light Weight
 
Posts: 308
Joined: Apr 2005
From: America
Status: Offline
IP: BFE3 BD6A

.. I just realized.. this was the best feed back I gave yet on RV.. wow
__________________
<img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/tc46tg.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> <BR>
<img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/joseph7qs.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
Send a message via AIM to Sweft Send a message via Yahoo to Sweft   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-05, 10:17 PM   #28
Kirk
Peace, Love, Unity
 
Posts: 5,455
Joined: Jan 2005
Status: Offline
Text Record: 23-0
IP: AB23 98FF

cause this is dope
__________________


88 miles per hour should do it.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-05, 10:53 AM   #30
SNE DAWG
Light Weight
 
SNE DAWG's Avatar
 
Posts: 172
Joined: Apr 2005
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-4
IP: 7135 1A81

damn!!! that wuz sum really good shit, I liked the vocab and the multies alot, you got a complex theme but that make me like this shit more, tight rhymes dawg keep it like that
__________________
"You Gotta Clean Your Life Before You Begin Your Life, You Dumb Nigga" -2Pac-

SHEEP CLUB 4 EVA

<img src="http://www.bestanimations.com/Humans/SkullBones/SkullBones-01.gif">

Keep Votin (Ill RTF)
Me Vs Ax Dogg...Dont listen to the haters..I didnt bite any line...

Me Vs Murdz
Send a message via MSN to SNE DAWG   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:04 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.