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this was original, and i can see the deeper concept as you read into it... nice shit dq.

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Daubs MySpace

Yeah Weird Structure I Loved It It Flowed Easiely Very Simple To Read But Good Concepts And Nice Vocab Very In Depth Look On Thingz D.q Return Tha Favour On One Of My Battlez In Front Lines Erryone Be Sleepin And Not Returnin Favourz

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It's Murdah now, not murder.

I love the originality. I oved the way you used the colors. .... cool.....
Ceep it coming DQ.

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Back.....

damn ma sorry took me a min to look at dis; but dis was a dope piece, pretty original tho; da structure was weird but hey its ya style; good vocab n wat not; damn ma keep up da hottness....1

nice emotion
good imagery, was vivid and creative
unique but yet creative structure
vocabulary average
flow smooth
and topic was a good one....nice poem

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damn, ILL ILL ILL. i like this poem. very different. i like how you used colors to express the poem.

*break down*
Greenish esoteric eyes silently perceiving world's surroundings
Vivid sparkle portraying heart's desire in the depths of her being
Innocence present in her pale, trembling hands resting in her lap
Awaiting opportunities to grasp and promising moments to seize
^^^this was a very nice opener. showed much emotion and you let the audience prosecute there own opinion. i like the lil acrostically looking GRADUALLY line. very nice.


continuing her safe path leading towards fulfilled hopes
Not once deflecting, strengthened by unconditional love for God
For He will show the way she has been chosen to follow in life
^^^nice, i like how you told the intended audience about how she is feeling and doing.

Tick tock tick tock…can’t you hear the t-i-c-k-i-n-g of the clock?
Whoosh…did you see that? Your life has just passed you by
No! Don’t even bother to run after it for it’s already long gone
Risks can’t be avoided in the game of life, neither can failure
Experience both and overcome the obstacles to reach goals
Dare to think outside the box and trust upon yourself alone
But you chose to neglect your true colours and simply wait
^^^not really feeling that tick tock line, that seems more like a battle diss type line, but other then that. the piece made sence. "Dare to think outside the box and trust upon yourself alone" this was DEEP. showed great emotion.

I do pity many for only seeing black and white in mystery of life
Yet congratulate them for not being caught up in shades of grey
^^^very nice closure. brought this not to an abrupt HALT, but to a nice easy calming end. D/M, this was very nice. i shall say keep your head up. and keep doing you. very nice read.